I got home from work on Sunday night and found myself wide awake with nothing to do, so I settled in for a night camped out on the couch watching shitty celebreality. And I wasn’t disappointed. VH1 was showing the finale of Celebrity Fit Club and one of the ‘stars’ of the show is Saved By the Bell alum Dustin Diamond. What a complete dickwad. And to top off all his annoying, whiney behavior, they mentioned that he has moved to Milwaukee of all places! I am so pissed at that! Like we don’t have enough to overcome with Milwaukeeans like Jeffrey Dahmer and Laverne and Shirley? Seriously Dustin, you had to choose Milwaukee of all places? You couldn’t go to Cleveland or Omaha?
I realize I no longer live in Milwaukee, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still consider it home. And I’ve been thinking about going back a lot in the past few months, but I think I would literally vomit if I ever ran into Dustin. And I cannot fathom how anyone could shell out any money to see a Dustin Diamond sex tape. PUKE! I don’t care if he makes Tommy Lee look like a prepubescent Indian, I would never, ever, ever want to see him naked.
I cannot think of a worse B-list celebrity, but I feel like I must be overlooking someone. So, what can you come up with, my loyal six readers?