And I wish I were dumber.
Everyone looked at me like I was crazy and as the conversation continued, it because clear that I was the only one that had ever thought that before. I know I am smart when I choose to be but I can be incredibly lazy. I’ve heard about my ‘potential’ my entire life. Sometimes I feel the weight of that wasted potential crashing down on me. I think about how if I had applied myself at all, I could have been a biologist or a CIA agent or an epidemiologist. I could have been making a difference. Instead, I spent yesterday watching Up at work. (Super adorable movie. I said I wouldn’t cry but was crying less than 12 minutes into it. Thank God I have my own office.)I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I am too damn smart to be wasting my life mailing out membership reminders and writing $5,000 grants. It just seems so daunting at this point to go back to school, especially since I have to pay for car repairs by dog sitting. I thought that by this point in my life I would have accomplished something. At least if I had an IQ of 75, I probably wouldn’t be aiming any higher.