Eat. Pray. Barf.

I am embarrassed to admit that I went to see the new Twilight movie last night. The best part of the whole ordeal was the Harry Potter preview. But the last preview they showed was so unbelievably annoying I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the first few minutes of the movie. (Actually, I had a lot of time to think about how annoying it was, and think about what I was going to eat for dinner, and what I want to do this weekend since all my friends are out of town, and try to remember if I took my clothes out of the dryer before I left for work this morning… I think you get my point.)

Anyway, Julia Roberts is starring in the movie adaptation of the Elizabeth Gilbert book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. I have not read the book. I do not plan on reading the book. In fact, the whole concept of the book really pisses me off.

My understanding of the book is that a 32-year old woman is going through a divorce and before the divorce is finalized she begins dating some other guy (James Franco in the movie, which really blows since I like James Franco and don’t want to associate him with this shit). The new guy doesn’t work out either and she is horribly depressed so she spends a year traveling. Eating food in Italy, praying in India and wrapping it all up with a yoga retreat/meeting the man of her dreams in Bali. Whatever. Obviously it has been on the best seller lists long enough that this appeals to a lot of people.

But the preview shows Julia Roberts ranting about her life.

“Since I was 15, I’ve either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy. I have not given myself two weeks of a breather just to deal with myself.”

Are you fucking kidding me?! Sure, we all know women like that. (And men too.) Personally, those women drive me absolutely fucking crazy. On one hand I feel sorry them because they are so afraid of themselves that they can’t do anything alone, and on the other they make me so angry that I want to spit at them. Its 2010, ladies. Newsflash, you don’t need a man to define you! Men can be wonderful. Being in a relationship can be fantastic. Sex is great! But if you have never been alone, I guarantee that you have settled for someone at least once in your life because it was easier that being alone. And that is pathetic. And now I am supposed to watch 2 hours of Julia Roberts whining about how somewhere along the way she lost herself and then got a book advance so she could travel all over the world to ‘find herself’ and the only thing she ends up doing at the end is falling in love again?! What.the.fuck!? If she ended up starting a non-profit to help land mine victims or save elephants or basically if she learned anything during her year abroad, I could maybe excuse the reason she took the trip in the first place, but no. She ends up exactly where she started, a spoiled and privileged white woman who is married again and probably still doesn’t have a clue about what real suffering is.