Monday, December 29, 2008

Confessions, Part II

I've been slightly preoccupied trying to figure out why I have been so obsessed with the Twilight series lately. I mean, it's not a fantastic book. It's not horrible, but it's just a silly romance novel. I thought I got over that phase when I was 13. The only thing I can come up with is that it makes me a little sad to think that I am never going to be the 'damsel in distress'. I'm not saying that I want to be helpless, but a little part of me can't help but wonder how my life would be different if I was someone else.

I obviously don't want to be a weak, romance novel character. But I've always wondered what it would be like to be someone that needs protecting. Or not even needs it, but inspires it. I am 5'10". I am taller than half the men I know. I've never known what it's like to have to literally look up to people. Even at my healthy weight, which I admittedly haven't seen in almost three years now, I am never going to be petite. I am not shy and I am not quiet. I'm grateful that my parents raised me to be independent and opinionated. But I think that everyone wants to be taken care of every once in awhile and I can't remember the last time anyone took care of me. At least, not as an adult. My friends and family are supportive and I am sure would be more than willing to help me out if I asked, but I doubt that I would ever ask. I'd probably hate myself if I did have to ask, to be honest. But it would be nice to have someone looking out for you sometimes. It would be nice to know that there is someone else out there that not only cares what happens to you but actually fights to make your life better.


radioactive girl said...

I don't know if that kind of girl can be real. I am married, and in theory I have my husband to take care of me. Not that he doesn't, but in real life, that would get really obnoxious because I am who I am and can't stand when people make a fuss over me. My husband calls me "feisty" (or is it "ie"? I always forget). Even when I had cancer, I was the one taking care of everyone else. It is just who I am. I can't imagine being like a friend of mine who calls her husband home from work with any little thing. I kid you not, she broke a bottle of beer and made her husband come home to clean it up so she wouldn't cut herself on the glass pieces. For real. So, as much as it seems like it would be nice to have someone take care of you, would you really want to be that helpless? But I do think it would be nice every once in a while for someone else to be the boss of me (in the words of my kids) and just take care of me. Just not that often or I would be annoyed.

radioactive girl said...

That was a really long comment I left, and it had absolutely no point. Don't bother trying to figure out what I meant because even I have no idea.