Welcome to 2009, loser!

I’ve been trying not to let the winter blues get me down, but I am failing. I am surrounded by people who are so in love with winter that I am sure they would marry it if they could. Their annoying declarations about how wonderful winter is are worse than all the damn snow and the single digit temperatures. I swear to God, the next person that starts talking about how great snow is will get punched in the face.

In other news, my NYE sucked donkey balls. I rented a few movies (Wanted with Angelina Jolie and the most recent Harry Potter movie) and didn’t even drink. Apparently I don’t know how to have fun without liquor. Anyway, as I was sitting there, I realized that I should be working in Hollywood. I know I can’t act, but I started off at film school and I think I would be a good producer. I am a planner to an almost pathological degree. This is not to say that I am a neat person. I get very defensive about this. I am messy, but I know where everything is and I know what needs to get done. I think that would be a good quality when it comes to getting shit done on a set where there aren’t any file cabinets or databases easily accessible.

Anyway, the only reason I switched over to a state school and ended up majoring in journalism is because I am a chicken. I didn’t want to have even bigger student loans and I didn’t want to wait tables for the rest of my life, which I knew would be a very real possibility trying to make it in the entertainment industry. I’ve known for the last 6 years that I don’t want to work in an office for the rest of my life. But for some reason, I’ve spent the last few years assuming that if I want to get a job that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer all day, I’d have to go back to school for some sort of science degree. I seriously looked into several forestry options. I don’t know why I didn’t think of anything else – certainly not going back into the arts. Probably because I gave up on that career choice a long time ago.

Well, not anymore! I turn 30 in a few months and I think its bullshit that I have spent my whole life going for jobs that I am not passionate about. It’s not a great feeling knowing that you’ve spent your whole life doing stuff because you were afraid to fail at what you really wanted to do.

Seeing as I am not a stupid 19-year old anymore, I am going to be logical about this. I know that I change my mind about everything every other week, so it’s not like I am going to pack up my car and head down to L.A. But I am going to take advantage of the fact that I work at a television station and learn everything I can about set design and camera operations and stuff. And I am hopefully going to chip away at some of the debt I have accrued over the last decade. And if a few years, when I no longer have an aging dog to take care of, and I don’t have to plan everything decision I make around my credit card balance, perhaps I’ll be ready to take that leap. Plus, I’ll have a few years experience in the media field, even if public television is about as far away from Hollywood as you can get.