Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Obviously, I am quite excited about the outcome of the Presidential election, but this ain’t called Capital Cities Whine Monger for nothing!

Last night, while most of the country was busy voting Blue, I was in a state that was electing a convicted felon into the Senate. Seriously? No really, what does a politician have to do in this state to NOT get re-elected? Because I cannot explain it. Not even a little bit. And now, since he will obviously get kicked out of the Senate, I’m guessing that Palin will run in the special election that’s almost inevitable at this point. Sure, there is the slimmest possibility that Stevens could still lose once all the absentee ballots are counted, but it’s really not looking great.

Palin as Governor = annoying. Palin as Senator = scary-ass shit. It’s not quite move-to-Canada scary, but it sets her up for a 2012 bid and that is pretty terrifying. And it ensures that Caribou Barbie is going to do everything in her power to keep shooting down animals from helicopters, fuck up ANWR at her earliest convenience, and move the Capital to Anchorage (or even worse – Wasilla, the taint of Alaska).

So, thank you, my fellow Alaskans. Thank you for providing me with more blog fodder and keeping me up until 1am last night. Thank you for making this the second Reddest state in the nation (Oklahoma, you go ahead and hold on to your title for a few more years!) and reinforcing all those stellar Alaskan stereotypes.

Now if you don’t mind, I am going to try to ignore your unbelievably stupid voting habits and enjoy the sweet, sweet taste of victory. It’s been a long time since I actually had an election to celebrate and I plan on milking it as long as I can. I figure I get at least a few extra days because of the historical significance in this election.

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