Sometimes life is so unfair. I mean, so unfair you go off on existential rants and question your faith. I might have been completely ready to leave the environmental non-profit world to come back to Alaska, but I learned a lot there. And I consider two of my former co-workers to be the best mentors anyone could ask for. One of them was the chief naturalist for our organization. He is one of the most inspiring, intelligent, thoughtful people I have ever met. He has spent the last 32 years working to improve the environment. He runs at least one ultra marathon every year. (For those of you that don’t know about ultras, they are either 50 or 100 MILE races! Who does that?!) Anyway, my former colleague also owns a few acres of land where he grows quite a bit of his own produce. You have never met a healthier person in your life. And just after I left, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. And I realize that cancer sucks, and it’s never fair, blah, blah, blah. But this time, it’s REALLY unfair.
And I am sure this is really horrible of me to say, but sometimes it really pisses me off that there are so many pink ribbons and walks and products but that money doesn’t go into a communal pot. It only goes to breast cancer research, which has a fairly good survival rate. Guess how many people are alive one year after a brain cancer diagnosis? Half. Only 25% make it to two years. My co-workers latest news?
“...wanted to let you know that my MRI on Wednesday indicated that there is a very strong chance that my tumor is growing back. We are waiting for a second opinion and then I'll likely undergo another craniotomy or resection in early December.”
It’s not fair. I just don’t know how else to put it. He does NOT deserve it. His wife doesn’t deserve it. His kids don’t deserve it. It’s just not right. And I don’t know what to say and I am not ready to say goodbye and what really sucks is that I am living somewhere where no one knows him so I don’t even get to talk about it to anyone. I get to sit home alone and cry about it and write about it on my stupid blog that no one reads. I hate cancer.