Yesterday I went to pre-order my copy of the last Harry Potter book and the whole experience was emotionally exhausting. I am so excited about the last book I could wet myself, but then I stop to think about what will happen once the book has been bought and read and I want to cry. Then the series is over. Done. Kaput. No more Harry Potter. What the hell will I have to look forward to then? It’s a feeling akin to waiting for your first child to be born, or what I imagine I will feel when and if I finally decide to have kids. Utter excitement about being a mom, total impatience at how long pregnancy lasts, and abject horror that I will fuck the kid up all rolled up into one. Like I said, I cannot wait for the last book to come out and I am completely impatience for July, but what if J.K. kills off Neville as her big finale? That would be pretty much fucking up the entire novel and I expect so much more.
The bookstore also made me take a sticker with my receipt. I had two choices; one that said, “Trust Snape”, and the other said, “Snape is a Very Bad Man”. Fuck. How am I supposed to know? My personal thought is that Snape isn’t necessarily a nice person, but he is not ‘bad’ either. There is no way he sat around in Hogwarts for years and years if his only goal was to kill Dumbledore. The two of them had to have made some sort of arrangement and his actions will somehow be explained in the last book. So, no, I don’t think he is a very bad man. But I sure as hell don’t trust him either. The clerk at the bookstore must have thought I was mildly retarded because I probably stared blankly at him for a full 30 seconds before stating, a little too loudly,
“If I have to choose, I’ll take the ‘Trust Snape’ one, although I don’t exactly trust him. I really think that you should have a third option for people who are still undecided on the matter. I mean, it’s so obvious that J.K. Rowling could go in two completely difference directions and how am I supposed to know what she is thinking right now? I mean, I am not a mind reader. I would be very disappointed if Snape ended up being bad after all these years of Dumbledore sticking up for him. I mean, I definitely trust Dumbledore. I trust him more than I dislike Snape. Don’t you have any Dumbledore stickers?”
Surprisingly, the clerk was not too nonplused by this outburst. His expression never changed and he simply handed me my sticker and said, “I apologize for not having a Dumbledore choice. Thank you for shopping at Waldenbooks. Please have a nice day.” Basically, he dismissed me. But I was so worked up thinking about my Snape allegiance that I didn’t even notice. I stewed about it for most of the night. Only two more months though, and all my questions will be answered! I can’t wait!