It seems like everyone has been having a crappy fall, but I have to admit I am sick of hearing about other peoples problems. Don't get me wrong, I care about my friends and I want them to be happy but I've got my own shit to deal with right now and I am sick of taking care of other people. Why does your break-up or your shitty day at work or your homework or your flat tire or even your birthday denial always require something from me? And how do you not help someone without looking like a total asshole? I want to tell everyone to piss off, but I still care enough to know that I don't want all my friends mad at me.
But I feel like I am getting close to my breaking point. I went out on Saturday night and was nice as pie to random strangers and those friends you have that you only see every once in awhile. The people that never call you if they are in trouble. The ones you don't expect anything from. But I was definitely bordering on bitch with my close friends. I don't want to be that person. I feel like things aren't really that bad for me, but I can't shake this funk I'm in. And I hate that. Normally I overreact initally but then get over things pretty fast. Not having a game plan is messing that all up.
I had a gift certificate for a local hotel this weekend and last night I just sat in the hotel room to be alone. I didn't watch tv or read. I literally just sat there looking out the window being alone. And I didn't think about anything or anyone. And it was fantastic.