Also, my dog is starting to slow down. Unless you know me you don’t realize how much that is impacting all of my decisions. I have been trying to ignore that fact that she is having more trouble with the stairs and her back legs are starting to give out more often, but there is only so much longer I can deny what I am seeing. I hate, hate, hate that she is old. I hate that she doesn’t want to cuddle with me more. I feel like Lennie from Of Mice and Men, I just want to keep petting her all day. I pray every night that when the time comes she will just die in her sleep because I am not sure I am strong enough to let her go when her time comes.
So, that is what I have been thinking about these days. I have not really been thinking about the fact that I have a date tonight. I thought it would be a good distraction, but I have to admit I have not put much thought into it other than to acknowledge that I have to be ready to go around 7ish. I have absolutely nothing in common with this guy. Honestly, I just thought he would be a good winter pastime. And if that makes me slutty, good. I’ve been a prude for way too long.
This blog, like my life right now, is pretty disjointed. But sometimes it just feels good to write.