Friday, October 19, 2007

Breakin' up is hard to do...well, not really.

Well, the boy took the news really well. In fact, if there was a script for the easiest way to break up with someone it couldn't have gone any smoother. And I am proud of myself because I was really tempted to make up a convenient 'I'm-really-a-lesbian' or 'I'm-moving-to-China' lie but I stuck with honesty. I am totally growing up! And he was so cool about it. We might even remain friends. Granted, that is a lot easier to do when you don't have romantic feelings for that person. But it's a relief to know that there isn't another person out there that hates me now.

I've also decided to stay single for awhile. I'm definitely leaving DC in the near future, so what's the point? And I hate to admit it, but I am still getting over the ex. Roonie posted a blog awhile ago (on my birthday to be exact) about things you want to tell your ex and it struck a chord. The newness of being alone was still too fresh at the time for me to really know what I wanted to say and my thinking was skewed because I was just coming out of the worst year of my life.

I’m not trying to be melodramatic; it literally was a shitty, shitty year. It’s not like I was homeless or chronically ill, but May 2006 to May 2007 will go down on record as the year of Fuck Kristin the Hard Way. Yes, I realize that can be good every once in awhile, but after 12 straight months of ass fucking I was just too raw.

What made it such a crap pile of a year? There was a ton of stuff going on that just compounded. In May 2006, the newness of my job was starting to wear off and I was starting to realize it wasn’t going to be all rainbows and unicorns like I had pictured in my head. Moving financially wiped me out and I was realizing how expensive it is to live in DC. Plus summer was beating down on me and I was learning that this swampy ass city is as close to hell as I ever care to get. But everyone has little problems and those weren’t even blips on the radar. My grandpa died, which was a pretty big blow. And there were the growing problems with my unbelievably psychotic roommate, which I think got to me more than I liked to admit. And then the ex literally went from “Let’s move in together” one week to “I’m leaving you for an old whore” (perhaps I am paraphrasing there a bit) the next week. Dead grandparent/getting dumped/crazy roommate = trifecta that I blame for the 30 (ok, 35) pounds I’ve gained since I moved here and the reason I started smoking again after 4 years.

But now that I've had some time to reflect I'd like to start my own list.

Things to tell my ex:
It took me six months to realize that you leaving was a good thing.
It took me almost a year to forgive you.
I still hope your relationship fails.
I feel smarter without you.
I will never put up with that much bullshit again.
If you hadn't left, eventually I would have.
It's not relaxing, or having a good time, or unwinding after a hard day - you are an alcoholic.


Michael5000 said...

Nice list! I like "I feel smarter without you."

Sorry about the crappile of a year...

Loaf said...

Nothing like getting out of a relationship to make you stand back and realise just how crappy it was!

If karma has any respect, 2008 will be a kick ass year :)

Anonymous said...

Honey, you ARE smarter. I could barely talk to you before. I would be all like, "How do you feel about what is going on in Darfur?" and you would be all like "Duh....for...." and now you are all like, "I believe that the Darfur is in a state of utmost emergency. Humanitarian aid is required to alleviate the suffering and stop the madness. STOP THE MADNESS!" And I am all like, "wow".