Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Family Matters

Drinking, I have discovered, is the key to dealing with my family. I love them, but spending an entire weekend with my extended family is definitely the cause for a bottle of tequila. Actually, scratch that. I hate tequila. I once got so drunk on tequila that I threw a glass bottle at someone and slapped someone else. Not my finest moment, and pretty much the only time I have ever been a violent drunk. I stuck with beer this weekend anyway. And a few, ok make that 7 rum and cokes. My grama is the coolest lady in the whole wide world when I am half in the bag. She is 95 and was a total flapper back in the day. Last time we got drunk together she gave me her recipe for bathtub gin, which she apparently made and sold during prohibition. Could she be any cooler?!

I also found out my mom was doped up on Vicodin the first few months I was alive and she purposely took it right before breast feeding me! Apparently, my grama also gets a loose tongue when she drinks. It explains so much…


The only thing I did this weekend besides drink was read Harry Potter. And speaking of Harry, SPOILER ALERT!! Can I just say, ‘I told you so!’ I mean, I know it was predictable, but I still called it. So HA! And other than the last 75 pages, I loved it. But I think she chickened out on what could have been the coolest children’s book ever.

And that was my weekend. My life is so cool.

11 comments:

Em Cee McG said...

Don't tell people the end of that shit! What's the matter with you. Could you send me a copy.

Julie_Gong said...

You are so lucky I stopped reading the Harry Potter stuff if you wrote then ending. Death!

As for tequila we have a love hate relationship. I love it. But it hates me. And makes me cry every. single. time.

5 of 9er said...

I love that I come from a family of drinkers. We are not alcoholic... at least I don't think so. But it makes dealing with all of us that much easier. Hang in there!

a quiet citizen said...

You're cool KK! So fucking there!

Scary Monster said...

It be a cool thing to find out grandma & grandpa be havin a history of their own and that they often behaved much the same as we do.

Me enjoyed the final book, but me agrees with you on the ending. When me saw the title of the final chapter me had some hope for a truly fascinating ending, but it didn't happen.

STOMP.

Scary Monster said...

It be a cool thing to find out grandma & grandpa be havin a history of their own and that they often behaved much the same as we do.

Me enjoyed the final book, but me agrees with you on the ending. When me saw the title of the final chapter me had some hope for a truly fascinating ending, but it didn't happen.

STOMP.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Cool grandmas are the best thing ever!

As far as the ol tequila thing goes, everyone needs a good tequila episode every once in awhile.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You cautioned us with a spoiler alert, but then you didn't tell us anything. Does Harry fuck the redhead kid?? Just tell me, I'm not reading that nerdy crap.

Next time you're drinking bathtub gin with Granny, I want an invite.

Catherinette Singleton said...

You're definitely onto something regarding the whole cocktails-with-family combo. That is critical.

Anonymous said...

Vicodin, huh? Your mom started you young....

chuckdaddy2000 said...

I was a bit disappointed by HPVII. I mean, I read it like a monkey on meth, but... I don't know. I felt like they were just (spoiler alert-sort of)wandering around listlessly and they suddenly Horcruxes would just kind of fall in their laps.

And I was tricked by the end... And I think you're right- she did wimp out a bit