So sleepy...

My BFF was in town this weekend and I finally got to do some of the tourist-y things DC has to offer. I can’t believe I’ve been here for well over a year now and I haven’t been to half the museums on the Mall. The only down side to the whole weekend is that I didn’t once get really drunk. And I was so looking forward to that.

Anyway, I haven’t caught up on my sleep since she left and I have absolutely no motivation to write anything remotely entertaining right now.

Family Matters

Drinking, I have discovered, is the key to dealing with my family. I love them, but spending an entire weekend with my extended family is definitely the cause for a bottle of tequila. Actually, scratch that. I hate tequila. I once got so drunk on tequila that I threw a glass bottle at someone and slapped someone else. Not my finest moment, and pretty much the only time I have ever been a violent drunk. I stuck with beer this weekend anyway. And a few, ok make that 7 rum and cokes. My grama is the coolest lady in the whole wide world when I am half in the bag. She is 95 and was a total flapper back in the day. Last time we got drunk together she gave me her recipe for bathtub gin, which she apparently made and sold during prohibition. Could she be any cooler?!

I also found out my mom was doped up on Vicodin the first few months I was alive and she purposely took it right before breast feeding me! Apparently, my grama also gets a loose tongue when she drinks. It explains so much…

The only thing I did this weekend besides drink was read Harry Potter. And speaking of Harry, SPOILER ALERT!! Can I just say, ‘I told you so!’ I mean, I know it was predictable, but I still called it. So HA! And other than the last 75 pages, I loved it. But I think she chickened out on what could have been the coolest children’s book ever.

And that was my weekend. My life is so cool.

Kinda makes you go 'hmmm'...

I’m going to kvetch here for just a minute. My roommate is 23-years old and she got a job with the CIA right out of college. Her job doesn’t have anything to do with what she went to school for. And even though the website for the CIA says that they are looking for applicants with military experience or travel experience in the Middle East, China, or Africa, my roommates only international travel was her study abroad in Australia. She doesn’t speak a foreign language and my point to all this is that I am jealous. If I stay in the non-profit world, I’ll be about 35 before I am making what she makes right now at 23. Anyway, I chalked it up to her being in the right place at the right time, but I changed my mind this past weekend.

On Saturday night, my roommate decided to go to a Toby Keith concert with a bunch of people she works with and they met up at our house before heading out. First of all, a group of ‘military analysts’ spending money to go see Toby Keith is scary enough. I mean, talk about a douche bag. I hope he didn’t brainwash them all into assassinating the Dixie Chicks and committing us to three more years in Iraq just to teach those goddamn anti-patriotic terrorists a lesson.

Anyway, the other really annoying thing I noticed about everyone that went to the concert was that they were all girls and they were all super cute, young, under qualified and looked like they went straight to the CIA from Kappa Beta Gamma. All white, all blonde, and all alcoholics apparently. They came home so bombed it was actually quite comical. My roommate missed the one step leading up to our front door and busted her chin open and left blood all over the house.

All these girls also got hired from career fairs where they interviewed in person. I have been to several career fairs for my current job and we always get the hippies that put on clean jeans to impress us. The government always has a booth with people lining up for miles in full on suits with multiple copies of their resumes. There are short people, tall people, black people, and white people. I think I saw that oldest kid from Malcolm in the Middle there once. And the people interviewing candidates are usually middle-aged white men. Hmmm…

HELLO Harry!

This weekend, my friend Vinu and I went to see the latest Harry Potter film. We already had our tickets and we got there 30 minutes early but it was so crowded already that we couldn’t even sit next to each other! Thankfully, there were no annoying talkers or crying babies or I would have had a fit. There is nothing worse than going to see a movie you are really excited about and having some snotty-ass little brat kick the back of your seat the entire movie. Or sitting next to an inconsiderate asshole parent who sits there and explains the whole movie in a stage whisper to a three-year-old that should be at home in bed anyway and ends up getting scared 10 seconds into it and cries for half the movie. If I am ever that parent, I hope somebody slaps me.

Anyway, Vinu and I had pretty much the exact opposite reaction to the movie. It’s frustrating when you go see a movie with someone and have different opinions about it. I don’t want to justify liking a movie and it’s hard to bitch about how awful a movie was if the person you saw it with loved it. So the car ride home was pretty quiet.

The one thing we could both agree on, however, was that it is disturbing to see Daniel Radcliff entirely naked in the posters for that play he is doing in London. I don’t know what is more disturbing, that he’s naked, or that I think he looks pretty darn good.

I bet Harry’s getting more ass than a toilet seat in an Indian restaurant.

Slut-O-Rama

I am going out with my new gentlemen friend for the first time tonight. And no, I am not talking about the guy in the wheel chair or the high school dropout - not even for better blog fodder could I convince myself to contact either one of them. Although I did post a new picture and it made a world of difference.

Anyway, I was thinking about this last night and I realized that I don’t think I have ever gone on a first date before. I don’t think it counts as a ‘date’ when you go home with someone from a bar, even if you end up with that person for awhile. And everyone else I’ve ever dated I’ve already known. It’s like I am the 40-year old virgin, except I’m under 30 and we’ve already established that I’m a tad slutty…

You J-e-a-l-o-u-s!

Live Earth = fucking awesome. I hardly had to work at all and our seats were awesome! I was actually really impressed with some artists that I wasn’t even excited to see. Like Alicia Keys. She was unbelievable and really revved the crowd up, which was totally needed after Melissa Etheridge went off on a twenty minute rant about the war and how young people today just don’t protest shit enough. Thanks for staying on point there, Melissa!

Plus, people from the Daily Show were there, so I got to meet Aasif Mandvi! That’s right bitches, you wish you were me!

And, yes, alright, there were a few very non-environmentally friendly aspects of the show, but the point is they tried. I mean the beer cups were made out of corn people – that is definitely a step in the right direction!

And there were a shit ton of famous people introducing the artists, like Kevin Bacon, Zach Braff, and Jane Goodall.

Basically, it was all around one of the best concerts I’ve ever been too. And we didn’t hit any traffic and I didn’t get sunburned and our seats were great and I was getting paid to be there. All in all, I’d say that’s not a bad weekend.

Warning: Lame Monday Post Ahead

At some point in the last four days, I somehow managed to lose my planner and now I don’t know which end is up. Sure, I have my Outlook calendar to look at, but it’s not even close to the same. I put notes in my planner, and phone numbers, and reminders about everything. I can’t do that on my computer calendar! I mean, physically I can, but I’m really only on my computer at work and I sure as hell am not lugging it around with me everywhere I go. Plus our schedules are all public at work and I really don’t want my boss to see when I am going to the lady doctor. And I am pretty sure if she saw the day I scheduled in a sick day she won’t approve…

I know my planner is around, I just seem to have misplaced it. It probably got sucked into the vortex of shit that has been swirling around my car since I drove up to Becca’s wedding a little over a week ago. I have just had zero motivation to clean anything the past two weeks.

In other news, God has once again decided to smite me. Live Earth is six days away now and I am starting to get sick. My throat is dry and my nose is a little stuffy. I am drinking about 27 gallons of water a day and taking Emergen-C, so hopefully I will be able to thwart this damn cold, but my roommate has been sick forever, so I might not escape it. Who the hell gets sick in the summer?!