Thursday, June 02, 2011

Sad Panda

I didn’t cry when the guy I have been hanging out with left. I think part of me actually thought we would continue to see each other, which in hindsight is just so silly. We hardly even dated. It is not rational to start a long distance relationship with someone you barely know. But I am not going to lie, when I found out that he has been hitting on my girlfriend, I totally had a good cry last night. Logically, I know I have no reason to be mad. But it’s so much easier to be mad than to feel hurt and jealous. We didn’t talk about the future and he owes me nothing. Hell, I’ve already fooled around with a pilot. And it is petty of me to ask her not to date him. They live in the same city and I am 700 miles away. Besides, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's as simple as that.

But everyone dates in the same circles up here, especially in my work environment. And I guess that is something I hadn't dealt with yet. So this was actually a good lesson for me to learn early on. Don't casually date people you work with because you can't escape them up here. They are both great people. If they start dating, it will be awkward to hang out with them but I am a grown up so I will suck it up and do it. I am kind of hoping they don't though because I know that this girl is totally smitten with someone else. It would just make me sad to know that her rebound is someone I really like. And honestly, I don’t think they did anything other that flirt, so I am being a crazy borderline stalker right now. But hearing that made me realize it doesn't matter who it is, he is obviously moving on. If it's not her, it's just going to be someone else. I guess at least now I know where I stand and I can stop being pathetic.


a quiet citizen said...

You're not being pathetic k, you're just feeling and thinking it out on paper. If it didn't bother you, sure you may feel fine now, but it's that desire that makes life exciting and creates the potential for awesome things (which will eventually come if you keep bringing it). This just shows you care and you're a better person for it; it's why I like you :)

radioactive girl said...

I think it makes sense to feel upset about this. No one wants to feel like they are easy to get over. I'm sorry you are feeling down about it. I know you know you will move on from this, but right now it just sucks and I'm sorry you have to feel this way.

Anonymous said...

I cry at coffee commercials portraying a hockey dad. I think you are in the clear to cry over this.