One of the surprising things about the last few weeks has been all the little signs that keep reminding me how lucky I am. On Christmas morning my neighbors invited me up to their apartment for breakfast. They made me a stocking too, exactly like the stockings I used to get as a kid. I really felt like part of their family, like I was being included not out of pity or obligation, but because I belonged there. And that truly is a peaceful feeling. I don't know how else to describe it.
In the afternoon I went to another friend’s house where it has become a custom for all us Christmas orphans to congregate around a gigantic pot of gumbo and watch movies. A few inches of snow, a few great friends, a ton of great food – without my family around, it was about as good as it could have been.
I am nervous about leaving my job. I have basically accepted an internship position that will only last for the next four months. I am not sure what I will do after that yet. It’s a bit unsettling. My former boss didn’t even bother to say goodbye, but I had other coworkers that took me out to lunch and out for a drink and they told me how much they’d miss me and that made my last few days a little less scary.
I have friends in Alaska and Wisconsin that have offered me a place to stay if I ever need it and I have been given a heads up on countless jobs, whether they are a good fit or not. But it makes me happy to know that there are people out there that are watching out for me. I've pretty much decided not to look at jobs up here anymore. If a great job falls in my lap, that would be wonderful, but otherwise I am on the May 24 ferry out of town, which coincidentally will be exactly three years to the day after I moved back. Juneau has a weird way of getting under your skin. But I am getting really sick of cross-country moves, so I have a feeling that if I do leave, I will only be back for visits. The thought of leaving the amazing people that have basically become my family terrifies me. But who knows what tomorrow will bring? All I am focusing on right now is how amazing my support system is and I know that no matter where I end up, there are people in my corner and that is enough right now.