One week to go. In just one week, we will have elected a new President. And despite the poll numbers that should be putting my mind at ease, I am terrified of the outcome. I campaigned hard for a local election in 2004 that appeared to be close in the polls. My candidate lost by a landslide, and Bush was re-elected. The double-whammy hurtled me into a weeklong depression.
The stakes seem higher this time around. I have literally broken out in hives at the thought of Palin in the White House. Okay, so I think I just have really dry skin right now, but I am sure that it’s a direct result of living a block away from an abandoned Governor’s mansion that I pass every day on my way to work. That house just sucks all the joy and happiness out of me. Sometimes, I go out of my way just to avoid seeing it. I’ve also let my dog take a dump in the driveway and I purposely didn’t pick it up even though I had a bag in my pocket. Take that, Palin!
Before getting back to Juneau, I actually did some campaigning for Obama in northern Virginia. Even though I was closer to DC, they needed volunteers to go out to Manassas, so I did. I was shocked by how many racial slurs were dropped by otherwise unsuspecting little old white ladies. I am probably going to hell for telling one especially old biddy that I hoped she died before November 4, but that is a price I am willing to pay. I know that there is still a lot of prejudice out there, but I have never been more ashamed of my race than I was that day, standing on a civil war battlefield and seeing a lady that looked like she just came from church drop the n-word.
Then there is the Ted Stevens race. I really like his opponent, Mark Begich, but this state is dumb enough to elect an 84-year old convicted felon. There really is no way to explain Alaskan politics. Once you’re in, even prison can’t stop you!
So basically, I am just giving everyone a fair warning that if the country goes red next week, I am going to be a very unhappy camper and I am apologizing ahead of time.
OK, enough about politics!! Let me just leave you by saying that while I was looking for a picture to put up with this post and I stumbled upon the Freedom is Not Free calendar. How do I become the photographer for that organization?
And then I found this really weird comic that shows us what both Obama and Clinton would look like with Humpty Hump noses. So, now you know and you can scratch that burning question off your list.