Tuesday, August 07, 2007

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.

I hope a love of shoes is not a prerequisite for being female, but I think it might be. I used to think that I liked shoe shopping. But that’s a big lie. I can’t even walk in heels. And I pretty much wear the same flip-flops every day. I went to DSW for the first time last night with my friend and she walked out with three pair of shoes and I walked out with a headache. Seriously, how many shoes does one person need? The old lady who lived in a shoe was obviously a crazy bitch. Shoes are expensive.

Other that the suit I just got to go out on interviews, I haven’t bought anything other than wedding shit for months. So how is it that I keep spending money?! How? It really sucks. I don’t do anything. I go see a movie once in awhile, but that's about it. I go to the free museums - I won't even shell out the $16 it costs to get into the Spy Museum, even though I think that sounds frickin' awesome. (Seriously, KDonk007 sounds pretty badass if you ask me...) Anyway, I don’t go to concerts, I don’t go to the really awesome bars that charge $14 for a shitty apple martini, I don’t even get my haircut because it’s like $40 around here! I wait until I visit my parents and then go to this woman’s house that my mom knows where she cuts hair in her living room for $8 a pop. So where is my money going?

I think part of the reason I have been so crabby lately is because it’s summer in DC, which means if hotter than hell. Literally. The heat index is some where around 106 today. (Becca, that’s like 41 degrees for you. Canada is so silly.) Why the hell our founding fathers decided to drain a swamp and then set up shop is beyond me. I would have built the White House up in New England. And then come up with something a little more original than New England. And for that matter, the White House is pretty damn unoriginal too. I would have slapped some color on that sucker and come up with a better name. Sorry, GW, but your shit is B-O-R-I-N-G.

7 comments:

a quiet citizen said...

...you are such a ridiculous breath of fresh air! cheers!

DwizzyRizzy said...

Hate to tell you but the New England is just as humid as DC, just maybe a little bit cooler, but only a smidgen (yes i just said smidgen)

other than that, we are so similar its scary, except im pretty sure my hair is shorter than yours

Loaf said...

Head on over to England and enjoy our one week of summer; rumor has it we're actually going to top at 25 degrees this week!

Scary Monster said...

Actually they never needed to drain the swamp. What replaced it weren't no different. They shouldda left the capital in New York. The graffiti artists definitely would have jazzed things up a bit.

STOMP.

Dwizzyrizzy and Loaf seem to share the same location yet experience different climate. Mebbe its a sartorial thang

The [Cherry] Ride said...

What I hated about summer in DC was that musty swampy smell. Or maybe it was just that I lived in a shithole in a shithole part of town.

And I hear you about the Spy Museum - I never went, even though I wanted to, because it was too much cash.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

No matter what season it is, there's always plenty of hot air blowing in Washington.

You know, because of all the politicians and shit.

Rebecca said...

First of all, SCARY MONSTER, dizwizzy said New England and loaf said England. Last I checked, two different places. SECOND of ALL, Beeyatch, we need some founding MOTHERS to build us a mother fucking CAPITAL. And then we can put the CAPITOL there, and it will NOT be, I repeat will NOT be, on a hot musty bug infested swamp. And, I hate to tell you, there WILL be shoes, beautiful, uncomfortable, shoes....ah, I get happy just thinking about it.

CELCIUS RULES SUCKERS!!!!