BAM!

Aside from my budding relationship with Neil Patrick Harris, I seem to be developing another, slightly more unhealthy, television crush. I blame it all on the fact that I now have cable and am incapable of turning it off. I am, of course, talking about Bam Margera. I don’t know what it is about him but he is so fucking hot. I mean, he is a complete douche bag, and I would not want to date him, but God does he look like he would be great in bed. I think there are two types of guys: the ones you want to settle down with and introduce to your family and potentially have their children, and the guys you just want to toss you over their shoulder and smack your ass as they carry you off to have their way with you in the bedroom, or kitchen, or whatever. Bam is definitely the latter. And I wouldn’t want it any other way with him.

And since I am on such a roll spilling about all my fictitious relationships, let me get this last one off my chest. My other TV infatuation falls under the ‘bring-him-home-to-meet-my-parents crush’ catagory. It's Brandon on American Idol. He just has the prettiest smile.

Doesn’t he look like a gentleman? And he can play the piano too! What more could a gal ask for? And what's perfect about Brandon is that I don't know anything else about him and I probably never will. So there are no annoying quirks or nails-on-a-chalkboard habits to interfer with the fantasy.

I have no idea what it is that makes you attracted to certain people and not others, but whatever it is, these guys have it for me. Perhaps I just have a thing for boys with ‘B’ names: Bam, Brandon, and don’t forget Barney! Of course, it's probably more likely that I am just not getting any right now, so pretty much anyone would do it for me these days. But that pity party is for another post...