Oh. My. God.
I hate my job sometimes. Not simply dislike it - flat out want to straggle my co-worker and buy a gun HATE it.* This week is my company's annual meeting and I know I am over tired and under medicated, but I really thought I was going to slap my co-worker and then burst into tears today. I am not a big crier, although I must admit that being dumped by the person I thought I was going to spend my life with has made me somewhat more emotional in the last few months, but that is neither here nor there. I don't cry at work. And I am not going to start. But having an inferior superior interrupt every other sentence and change around all the little details I’ve spent weeks working out, I think that would be enough to put anyone on edge. And then to have that same 'boss' ridicule you in front of people that are supposed to answer to you is not only undermining, it's just plain bitchy.
I keep telling myself that if I just stick with it, my job will improve, and sometimes I even believe that. We are really changing things around in our program, albeit painfully slowly. But I am not sure how long I am willing to wait. What’s keeping me around right now is that I don’t really have anything better to go to. There are no amazing jobs I’ve seen advertised. And while I am sure I would love to live in San Diego or Seattle or Portland, another cross country move is just not something I am willing to make right now. Not for anything less than the perfect job. And I am at that stage where I have too much experience for an entry level position, but not quite enough experience for a managerial level job. So I am kind of stuck.
Other things that have added to my crabbiness this week:
1. The stupid DC Metro is ALWAYS broken. How is it possible that they are getting $7/day from each Metro rider and yet NOTHING is ever on time and escalators are always broken?
2. UCLA is the only reason my bracket is not winning at work right now.
3. I am going through somewhat of a dry spell. And by ‘somewhat’, I mean that if I had gotten knocked up the last time I had sex, I’d fast be approaching my due date now. It’s not fun. Not fun at all.
4. This stupid annual meeting goes on through this weekend too, so I have to give up my weekend to kiss my stupid bosses ass and all I want to do is get drunk tonight and sleep in tomorrow.
And that about sums it up. It's good to get it all out. Even if it is only in the cyber world.
*Just for the record, incase anyone I work with is involved in some horrific and violent act any time in the future, I would never shoot anyone. I can't even bring myself to shot a deer, and I grew up in Wisconsin. Maybe I should have said taser or something instead, but that just doesn't illustrate my point enough because today I was mad.