Damn you The Hills! DAMN YOU!

It’s Friday evening and I am well on my way to getting schmammered, but I am angry. Why, you ask? Because when I got home today, my roommate was watching the season premiere of The Hills and she coerced me into watching it with her. Which means that I completely wasted one hour of my life and I will never get it back. I cannot express how much I hate those whiney, spoiled bitches. And what perplexes me is the fact the there are people out there that actually watch that show. I mean, what could possibly be interesting about utterly vapid skanks that act like 12-year olds and go out drinking every night? At least Britney and Lindsay actually have some talent to back them up. And I know some of you will argue that, but fuck, I don’t think the girls on the Hills can even spell their names. And there is absolutely no reason in the world that anyone should be even remotely interested in their day-to-day lives. I guarantee you that my lame-ass life is more entertaining than Lauren Conrad’s.

And one thing I find curious about Lauren is she continually rips on the ‘evil’ girl on the show because she apparently started a sex tape rumor about her. Now, I would probably be upset if my so called best friend started a sex tape rumor about me. (Which means you better keep it under wraps, Becca!) But I am not in show business. That stupid sex tape has got to be the only reason that people are still watching that show. She should be thanking her. But then again, that would probably mess up ratings… Still, she freaks out and starts yelling at anyone that has the audacity to talk to the ‘evil’ one. Get over it. That’s so last season. And at least Satan is some what interesting.

God, do I hate The Hills. Now I have to get back to my drinking.

Almost Makes Me Like Wack-O Again...

There is nothing - I repeat NOTHING - cuter than a dancing walrus.

I am such a dumbass!

This evenings gmail chat:

KaDonk: i am trying to explain a seder to my roommate and her friend right now
and I am rusty on the details
and they don't get anything I am telling them

Ooh! i made chocolate covered matzo
now i am introducing it to my roommate and her friend
they’ve never had it

tee hee
Roomie just asked me how Jew's celebrate Good Friday
tee hee hee
she fucking works for the CIA

and I said, "are you serious?"
only more like, Are you SERIOUS?!

My Jewish Friend: jesus, people are stupid
next she will ask how we celebrate jewish easter

KaDonk: you know, that wouldn't surprise me

My Jewish Friend: and jewish Christmas
tell them that circumcision used to cut off a full inch of the penis
it is only in the past two decades that it has been lessened

KaDonk: EW
are you serious?!

My Jewish Friend: no

KaDonk: haha

My Jewish Friend: I am just fucking with the goyim

KaDonk: hahaha
oh man, I am totally LOLing at how dumb I am

My Jewish Friend: that is funny

KaDonk: i had to explain to everyone why I am laughing so hard I am crying
RIGHT after I was talking shit about how dumb they are!

1st Cell Phone Picture

My old cell phone, the one that was oozing some kind of lubricant and had more dents and scratches than my parents old Dodge Reliant, finally crapped out on me and this is the first picture that I took with my rockin' new red phone. I was SO ready for an upgrade!

#4 Will Live Forever

I know that it was the right decision and the right time, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. This may sound silly to those of you who don’t obsess over football, but my relationship with Favre has been the longest relationship I’ve had with any man other than my father. We’ve never had a conversation; I’ve never been closer than row 12 to him; I don’t even know his middle name – but he was welcomed into my home every weekend since I was in eighth grade. He brought my entire family together and united an entire state when we were desperate for a Packer win. He ignited my passion for football. He was there in 1997 when I watched the Packers win the Superbowl and got so drunk I puked for the first time. I cried for him when he played through the pain the day after his father died. I prayed for him when he was battling his own addictions. I rooted for him in bars across Virginia and Alaska when I was the only Packer fan in the room. Regardless of what the ‘experts’ say about Favre being exceptional, but not the best – no matter how many times they say he didn’t win the most Superbowl rings or that he wasn’t consistent enough - Brett will always be my quarterback. He will always be the best in my book and I will always be grateful for the memories that he has given me. Thank you, Brett. You will be missed.