Because It's What I Do Best...

Oh. My. God.

I hate my job sometimes. Not simply dislike it - flat out want to straggle my co-worker and buy a gun HATE it.* This week is my company's annual meeting and I know I am over tired and under medicated, but I really thought I was going to slap my co-worker and then burst into tears today. I am not a big crier, although I must admit that being dumped by the person I thought I was going to spend my life with has made me somewhat more emotional in the last few months, but that is neither here nor there. I don't cry at work. And I am not going to start. But having an inferior superior interrupt every other sentence and change around all the little details I’ve spent weeks working out, I think that would be enough to put anyone on edge. And then to have that same 'boss' ridicule you in front of people that are supposed to answer to you is not only undermining, it's just plain bitchy.

I keep telling myself that if I just stick with it, my job will improve, and sometimes I even believe that. We are really changing things around in our program, albeit painfully slowly. But I am not sure how long I am willing to wait. What’s keeping me around right now is that I don’t really have anything better to go to. There are no amazing jobs I’ve seen advertised. And while I am sure I would love to live in San Diego or Seattle or Portland, another cross country move is just not something I am willing to make right now. Not for anything less than the perfect job. And I am at that stage where I have too much experience for an entry level position, but not quite enough experience for a managerial level job. So I am kind of stuck.

Other things that have added to my crabbiness this week:

1. The stupid DC Metro is ALWAYS broken. How is it possible that they are getting $7/day from each Metro rider and yet NOTHING is ever on time and escalators are always broken?

2. UCLA is the only reason my bracket is not winning at work right now.

3. I am going through somewhat of a dry spell. And by ‘somewhat’, I mean that if I had gotten knocked up the last time I had sex, I’d fast be approaching my due date now. It’s not fun. Not fun at all.

4. This stupid annual meeting goes on through this weekend too, so I have to give up my weekend to kiss my stupid bosses ass and all I want to do is get drunk tonight and sleep in tomorrow.

And that about sums it up. It's good to get it all out. Even if it is only in the cyber world.

*Just for the record, incase anyone I work with is involved in some horrific and violent act any time in the future, I would never shoot anyone. I can't even bring myself to shot a deer, and I grew up in Wisconsin. Maybe I should have said taser or something instead, but that just doesn't illustrate my point enough because today I was mad.

Vegas, baby!!

Everyone goes through phases where they hate there job, right? Okay, so maybe George doesn’t, but I really can’t afford to not get paid, even if it is an unbelievably amazing job. When my student loans and car are paid off, maybe, but it’s just not doable right now. My organization’s annual meeting is next week, and that is a big part of my job, so I have been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I definitely prefer being busy over sitting around with nothing to do, but add my boss into the mix and I don’t think anyone would like my job. My boss micro manages absolutely everything. She changes the font I use and the background color in my power points - even if I use a company template. She makes me email her a list of the things I am working for the week every Monday and even told me what kind of planner I had to buy for 2007. If there is any one reason in my life that I have to blow off some steam, it is her. And what better way to blow off some steam than by going to Vegas? One of the coolest people I met in Juneau is joining the Peace Corps and where do you go before you are about to leave the country for a few years? That's right, you go to Vegas. And I want to see him before he leaves. I also want to drink a lot of alcohol and maybe even win some money. (Cause God knows I blew enough on the damn ticket!) So, in a little over a month I am going to get the hell out of dodge and head out to Sin City!

I love Vegas. I fell in love with Vegas the first time I went there and have only been back once since them. So even though it’s going to be slightly awkward because a bunch of George’s friends are going to be there and I am not going to anyone, I am really looking forward to this trip. We’re going to some knock off stage version of the Price is Right and I am totally going to win a living room set. I am determined to spend at least a few hours playing roulette and I will not leave unless I learn at least the basic rules of craps. Plus Valorie is going to be there and I hear she is a good luck charm, so obviously someone is going to win big. And no matter what, I am going to end up with a wicked hangover, which is exactly what the doctor ordered. So, bring it on Vegas because here I come!

Tri Me

My triathlon is less than two weeks away now and I had an awesome run-through of the course this past weekend that was immediately followed by one of the worst runs ever in my life on Monday. I mean, it was seriously pathetic. I went to bed on Sunday night with visions of crossing the finish line and shattering my goal. I went to bed on Monday night with ice on my decrepit knee picturing myself tripping over my own shoe or riding my bike into a parked car and exiting the race in an ambulance.

Let me make one thing clear here before I go on – I am not a tri-athlete. I don’t sprint. I am chubby. I have no grand illusions of winning this race or even coming in the top ten. I do not, however, want to come in dead last. Giving up and letting the 250-pound, 60-year old man pass me up is just not acceptable.


That said, my ‘run’ on Monday was more of an incredibly short jog. I would like to blame it on the fact that I was running with my roommates dog and my iPod shuffle would not cooperate and play any good running songs for whatever reason, which is weird since I only have running songs on there, but it was a gorgeous day out and I started on a nice downhill stretch and if anything, the dog was helping my momentum, so it should have been a much better work out. I am going to try again tonight without the dog and with some minor music tweaks, so keep your fingers crossed!

BAM!

Aside from my budding relationship with Neil Patrick Harris, I seem to be developing another, slightly more unhealthy, television crush. I blame it all on the fact that I now have cable and am incapable of turning it off. I am, of course, talking about Bam Margera. I don’t know what it is about him but he is so fucking hot. I mean, he is a complete douche bag, and I would not want to date him, but God does he look like he would be great in bed. I think there are two types of guys: the ones you want to settle down with and introduce to your family and potentially have their children, and the guys you just want to toss you over their shoulder and smack your ass as they carry you off to have their way with you in the bedroom, or kitchen, or whatever. Bam is definitely the latter. And I wouldn’t want it any other way with him.

And since I am on such a roll spilling about all my fictitious relationships, let me get this last one off my chest. My other TV infatuation falls under the ‘bring-him-home-to-meet-my-parents crush’ catagory. It's Brandon on American Idol. He just has the prettiest smile.

Doesn’t he look like a gentleman? And he can play the piano too! What more could a gal ask for? And what's perfect about Brandon is that I don't know anything else about him and I probably never will. So there are no annoying quirks or nails-on-a-chalkboard habits to interfer with the fantasy.

I have no idea what it is that makes you attracted to certain people and not others, but whatever it is, these guys have it for me. Perhaps I just have a thing for boys with ‘B’ names: Bam, Brandon, and don’t forget Barney! Of course, it's probably more likely that I am just not getting any right now, so pretty much anyone would do it for me these days. But that pity party is for another post...

Do Me Doogie!

So, I didn’t have to work at my second job last night and I ended up bored at home on the couch watching a rerun of ‘How I Met Your Mother’. I should be embarrassed to admit that, but I’m not and I’ll tell you why. Two words: Doogie. Howser. Doogie Howser is just so fucking awesome. Seriously, the show is worth watching because of him. Granted, I am not going to TiVo ‘How I Met Your Mother’ just to see Doogie’s character (who’s name escapes me right now), but he definitely makes that show. If only he weren’t gay. Oh, who am I kidding, I’d still do him.

And speaking of TiVo – how the hell did I live without this for so long?! It is even cooler than sliced bread! Now all I need is an HDTV and I am good to go. I can watch all the horrible shit I am addicted to any time I want! No more missing 'American Idol' or 'I Love New York'! I can save every.single.episode! I can store all of Grey’s Anatomy and South Park and never miss another sex change operation or bout of explosive diarrhea, m’kay! And even as I type this, my TiVo is sitting at home, quietly scanning all the day time crap I don’t even know exists and selecting programs that I might be interest in! It’s like Chanukah every time I go home! Only instead of loading up on a bunch of shitty gelt, I get to stock up on reality television!

And speaking of Chanukah, I am planning my very first Seder this year! No actual Jews will be in attendance, but that just means I can tell all the goys whatever I want and they will believe me. HA! But I am getting pretty excited about it. I bought a Seder plate and I have 10 pounds of Matzo and two bottles of Manishevitz sitting in the back of my car, so I know I am off to a good start.

TGIF

What puts you in a bad mood? I would love to be a bubbly, jump-out-of-bed-with-a-smile-on-my-face kind of gal, but it’s never going to happen and I have learned to deal with that. And there are many, many things that can put a kink in my day. Like, I always get embarrassed when I am forced to use the bathroom at work right after someone with very low personal hygiene standards, and then when I am walking out of the bathroom someone else walks in and I am sure they are thinking that I am the stinkass. And it really irks me when my boss decides he is so much busier than us average worker bees that he doesn’t have to bother with the little things like only taking up one parking spot. No, every single day he has to inch over into a second parking spot. It’s not that it’s hard to walk the extra 5 feet but the point is that he either cannot drive or he is being a lazy bitch. Either way, it’s annoying and not how I like to start my day.

This morning, some douche bag at work decided to schedule a four hour meeting and also decided the best time to start that meeting would be 8 o’clock in the morning! On a Friday! Um, hello?! I work at a non-profit, not on frickin’ Wall Street. And there is a reason for that. I don’t like to dress up. I don’t even own a hair dryer. I am not competitive, and I am pretty confident that I will never be willing to consistently put in more than 40-hours of work in one week. To schedule a meeting that early in the morning is just insane. And, to top things off, it’s sunny and almost sixty degrees outside today. To compensate for this extreme cruelty, I have decided the best course of action is to leave work early. As in, right now.