Monday, January 23, 2012

2012

2012 is already kicking 2011’s ass, but that isn’t really saying all that much since 2011 pretty much sucked balls. The thing is, even though I was laid off and stressed out and had my heart broken, there were some unexpectedly amazing things that happened last year too. I stumbled upon what might turn into a real career for me. I absolutely love my job right now. The days fly by and I’m so busy I forget to eat and work evenings and most weekends and go in early.

And I love it.

I’ve never understood people who did that before but now I get it. They actually like what they do! When I first got laid off, the only person who said anything that made me feel better was my sister. She told me that several of her friends had been laid off and it was horrible for about a year or so but that every single one of them was happier now then they had been. And that is absolutely 100% true for me too. I never ever ever would have even thought about working in politics and I’ve always thought that people who did were all assholes. Oh, they are there alright, but there are also people working to actually make a difference in the world too. Maybe I’m just too new to be jaded, but I think new is exactly what we need in politics.

Last year I also met a man who was only in my life for nine months. But he showed me that there are still some good guys out there. And even though right now the thought of him dating some Missouri whore makes me want to puke, I am glad I met him. He made me laugh and reminded me that I don’t have to settle for someone just because I want to be in a relationship. Because when you have a connection with someone it is amazing but when there is no spark, it’s not really worth it. We got to take an awesome road trip together, I got to see where he belongs and I can move on knowing that he is happy and I am happy for him. Obviously, I’m sad that he is not going to be in my life more, but I got to meet a great guy and left him knowing that if I ever need to talk to him I can pick up the phone. And that’s a lot more than I can say about most of my past relationships.

I also met some really great people last year. There is no way in hell I would have hung out with a bunch of 23-year olds if I hadn’t been forced to take an entry level job. At first I felt incredibly old working with them. But I think they actually reminded me how to have fun again. I was definitely in a bit of a rut before I got laid off. Working in a job I didn’t enjoy and playing it safe because I wasn’t a kid anymore and had to get serious. It was humbling to start over again and it was terrifying to take a series of jobs that paid crap and were only temporary in hopes of landing something better. Not knowing where I was going to be in four months was new ground but I think it mellowed me out a bit.

This year, I still don’t know where I’ll be in six months. The difference is, now I am okay with that. Hopefully I’ve gotten through the worst of it and things are only going to keep getting better. 2011 taught me that life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to. That sounds really cliche and maybe it is, but I don’t know how else to say it. Even my lowest points weren’t all bad and even though pretty much nothing went the way I thought it was going to, I think I am better for it. I feel like I learned a lot and I hope that I am right about the direction I am going. But if not, I know I will be able to handle change better because I’ve already had to go through it once.