Come Sail Away

I was resigned to the fact that I was going to spend the holidays lying around my parent’s house sulking and mopping because Mark is going to blow me off every night for some old bitch. (And why do I care? Mark is an asshole. A lying, alcoholic asshole.) But if I am just sitting around doing nothing every night, I know myself, and I know I will start thinking about how much fun I would be having if I was out getting drunk with that asshole and then I’ll get depressed about how he’s moved on and I am just sitting on my parents couch eating Christmas cookies missing him. That is what I had resigned myself to...

But then I got invited to go sailing from Fort Lauderdale to the Bahamas. And even though it’s going to cost a shitload of money I don’t have and will use up all of my vacation time, I decided fuck it, you only live once. I mean, can you think of a better way to ring in the New Year than stumbling down a beach somewhere in the Bahamas with a cocktail in one hand and a little bit of mysterious dried throw-up on your shirt? Ok, so maybe I could do with out the mysterious puke, but other than that, it’s all good.

Jeepers Creepers!

Halloween weekend! I always say that I love fall and winter, but I usually have shit luck this time of year. It’s been years since I’ve had a great Halloween. When I was eleven, the week before Halloween, I got caught shoplifting at the local Ben Franklin and I was grounded for what would have been my last year of trick-or-treating.

In high school, my best friend had a Halloween blowout and everyone else left the next morning, but I stuck around and helped her clean up. Well, her parents ended up coming home early and we got caught, my parents were called, and even though I’d had nothing to do with planning the party, I was labeled the ‘bad influence’.

Same goes for Christmas. In high school, I got arrested and the police called my parents at 3am on Christmas Eve. I spent New Year’s babysitting my little sister and as the clock struck midnight, I was watching Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

In college, my boyfriend, whom I thought I was in love with, basically dumped me right after Christmas. We ‘made-up’ for New Year’s but that was just because he wanted to get laid that night. We broke up for real on the 2nd.

This year I am bound and determined to have a good Halloween. I made a costume, but didn’t spend too much time slaving away at it and I don’t care if it gets ruined. I have two Halloween parties to go to and I will refuse to be a wall flower all night even though I am not going to know that many people at either party.


PS - If you look really closely at the spider picture, you'll see that it's a spider carrying hundreds of little baby spiders on her back. I found it right outside my work.
Wicked nasty, yo.