Alaskan Whinemongering

2012

2012-01-23T05:37:00.001-05:00

2012 is already kicking 2011’s ass, but that isn’t really saying all that much since 2011 pretty much sucked balls. The thing is, even though I was laid off and stressed out and had my heart broken, there were some unexpectedly amazing things that happened last year too. I stumbled upon what might turn into a real career for me. I absolutely love my job right now. The days fly by and I’m so busy I forget to eat and work evenings and most weekends and go in early.

And I love it.

I’ve never understood people who did that before but now I get it. They actually like what they do! When I first got laid off, the only person who said anything that made me feel better was my sister. She told me that several of her friends had been laid off and it was horrible for about a year or so but that every single one of them was happier now then they had been. And that is absolutely 100% true for me too. I never ever ever would have even thought about working in politics and I’ve always thought that people who did were all assholes. Oh, they are there alright, but there are also people working to actually make a difference in the world too. Maybe I’m just too new to be jaded, but I think new is exactly what we need in politics.

Last year I also met a man who was only in my life for nine months. But he showed me that there are still some good guys out there. And even though right now the thought of him dating some Missouri whore makes me want to puke, I am glad I met him. He made me laugh and reminded me that I don’t have to settle for someone just because I want to be in a relationship. Because when you have a connection with someone it is amazing but when there is no spark, it’s not really worth it. We got to take an awesome road trip together, I got to see where he belongs and I can move on knowing that he is happy and I am happy for him. Obviously, I’m sad that he is not going to be in my life more, but I got to meet a great guy and left him knowing that if I ever need to talk to him I can pick up the phone. And that’s a lot more than I can say about most of my past relationships.

I also met some really great people last year. There is no way in hell I would have hung out with a bunch of 23-year olds if I hadn’t been forced to take an entry level job. At first I felt incredibly old working with them. But I think they actually reminded me how to have fun again. I was definitely in a bit of a rut before I got laid off. Working in a job I didn’t enjoy and playing it safe because I wasn’t a kid anymore and had to get serious. It was humbling to start over again and it was terrifying to take a series of jobs that paid crap and were only temporary in hopes of landing something better. Not knowing where I was going to be in four months was new ground but I think it mellowed me out a bit.

This year, I still don’t know where I’ll be in six months. The difference is, now I am okay with that. Hopefully I’ve gotten through the worst of it and things are only going to keep getting better. 2011 taught me that life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to. That sounds really cliche and maybe it is, but I don’t know how else to say it. Even my lowest points weren’t all bad and even though pretty much nothing went the way I thought it was going to, I think I am better for it. I feel like I learned a lot and I hope that I am right about the direction I am going. But if not, I know I will be able to handle change better because I’ve already had to go through it once.

So this happened.

2011-12-05T17:05:00.003-05:00

Unemployment is pretty awesome. Unless I start thinking about money and then I want to cry. You'd think I have plenty of time to blog without a job, but I just haven't been able to motivate. I am so incredibly ready to get back to work. But I think I have been enjoying my time off. I took a road trip down to Kansas City, I've had time to hang out with my family a lot, AND I got to swim with manatees. Yeah, it was as awesome as it sounds. Up next, one last trip to KC for Christmas and then back to Alaska where I finally get to start working again.

Karma

2011-09-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

I think I am a decent person. Sure I occasionally lie and I took some pens from my last job, but who hasn’t done that? And maybe I drink too much and perhaps I’ve been smoking lately but my destructive behaviors really only affect me. I’m sure everyone thinks of themselves as a good person. Even Jeffrey Dahmer probably thought he was somehow doing a good thing by hacking people up and keeping them in his refrigerator. But I put spiders outside instead of killing them. And even though I have been looking for a job all year, when I interviewed for a position that was right up my roommate’s alley, I told them she would be a better fit, which resulted in her getting the job. I volunteer. I try not to be mean, I hang out with people I don’t even really like sometimes because they seem lonely. When I have disposable income I donate money to charity. I hold doors open and I try to be polite.

So why is karma being such a bitch to me this year? Seriously.

It’s been almost a year since I got laid off. I am trying to stay optimistic because I know it could be a lot worse but right now I am substitute teaching for the fall. That is fun. And by fun I mean horrible. Money wise, things are getting semi-scary and subbing really doesn’t pay very well. But at least it’s marginally better than unemployment. And my roommate, the one that landed the job I told her about, just informed me that she is moving about because she ‘needs a cat right now.’ I was hoping to persuade her to stay until January because it’s a lot easier to find a roommate that time of year but she can’t wait 10 extra weeks for a cat. Because God knows, cats are hard to come by.

And to top it all off, the guy I have been dating and totally falling for during the last six months just told me that he is moving to Kansas City. In a month. I haven’t liked a guy this much in literally years. And after a minor freak out on my part right at the beginning, which I blame on the fact that I haven’t been so into someone for so damn long and it sort of scared the crap out of me, things have been going about as close to perfect as I’ve ever gotten in a relationship. Ever. But he got a really great job offer in fucking Missouri and apparently it’s too good to pass up.

I must have been a huge asshole in my past life.

Bear with me...

2011-07-30T20:09:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't blogged in forever. Honestly, there isn't much going on right now and I haven't been feeling like it. You're bummed, I know. The only things I have to talk about right now are:

1. I just found out I am going to be an aunt. FINALLY. It is going to be a bit difficult to win the Best Aunt Evah Award living 3,000 miles away from the new arrival, but I will figure out a way. I'm counting on the fact that we might end up sharing a birthday. My sister is due the week before my birthday, but since babies are never on time, well, sometimes, I am going to have a little chat with this one and try to arrange a duel birthday for us.

2. Harry Potter is finished. I saw it in 3D and regular D. It was my first 3D experience and I have to say, I'm not a fan. I hope this is just a craze and we can all go back to normal soon.

3. I ran into this guy yesterday. I was a bit closer than I would have liked, but he seemed pretty happy with this fish so I wasn't too worried. Living here never gets old.

Zip lining in Hoonah!

2011-06-15T16:35:00.004-05:00

I went with a bunch of friends to Hoonah last weekend. They have the longest zip line in North America - over a mile long. I don't really get scared at things like zip lines. I've been sky diving before and that definitely was more nerve-wracking. But just because you aren't afraid to do something doesn't make it any less fun.

Crap.

2011-06-10T06:31:00.001-05:00

After trying and mostly failing to adjust to a significantly smaller budget this year, I was excited when I woke up this morning knowing my first paycheck since April 26 was waiting for me in my bank account. Then I remembered that I’ve been living off savings, which is down to $287 and that I managed to add an entire zero to my credit card statement in the last three months. I think the rest of the day will be mostly about binge eating and beer. At least I am getting better about whoring myself out for drinks.

2011-06-03T11:49:00.002-05:00

I went and saw Bridesmaids last weekend. It was good - there were definitely parts that made me laugh out loud. But it hit a little bit too close to home in some spots. It takes place in Milwaukee and it’s about a woman who has lost her job and has no money and has a pattern of sleeping with douchebags and all her friends are getting married. Umm, that sounds eerily familiar. I wish my life was more like Hollywood and could work itself out and get back on track in two hours though. I keep thinking that if I can just hang in there a little bit longer, something will go my way and I’ll land this amazing job and everything will be even better than it was before. In December I told myself that if I just sucked it up for one session something great would open up. Now I am trying to convince myself that if I can just make it to next session, of course I’ll get a 'real' job. In my mind I keep thinking that I just need a little more face time with people. I don’t know if I am being optimistic or naive. I guess I am not giving myself enough credit. I have already secured a better job for next session, but it's not the job I really want. It's a step up so at least there is that, but it's still only a temporary job. I want to stay positive. I know I complain a lot, but that’s sort of how I deal with stuff. I think that overall, I am not a horribly negative person although it's been hard to 'keep my chin up' ever since I got laid off.

Sad Panda

2011-06-02T11:27:00.003-05:00

I didn’t cry when the guy I have been hanging out with left. I think part of me actually thought we would continue to see each other, which in hindsight is just so silly. We hardly even dated. It is not rational to start a long distance relationship with someone you barely know. But I am not going to lie, when I found out that he has been hitting on my girlfriend, I totally had a good cry last night. Logically, I know I have no reason to be mad. But it’s so much easier to be mad than to feel hurt and jealous. We didn’t talk about the future and he owes me nothing. Hell, I’ve already fooled around with a pilot. And it is petty of me to ask her not to date him. They live in the same city and I am 700 miles away. Besides, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's as simple as that.

But everyone dates in the same circles up here, especially in my work environment. And I guess that is something I hadn't dealt with yet. So this was actually a good lesson for me to learn early on. Don't casually date people you work with because you can't escape them up here. They are both great people. If they start dating, it will be awkward to hang out with them but I am a grown up so I will suck it up and do it. I am kind of hoping they don't though because I know that this girl is totally smitten with someone else. It would just make me sad to know that her rebound is someone I really like. And honestly, I don’t think they did anything other that flirt, so I am being a crazy borderline stalker right now. But hearing that made me realize it doesn't matter who it is, he is obviously moving on. If it's not her, it's just going to be someone else. I guess at least now I know where I stand and I can stop being pathetic.

Rambling Jumbled Thoughts

2011-05-26T17:18:00.005-05:00

I never really thought about it, but Hollywood doesn’t exaggerate when it comes to commercial airline pilots. I don’t know if it’s the uniform or the fact that you know and they know they are leaving so there is no accountability. But they definitely live up to their reputation. And no matter how much a pilot may look like Anderson Cooper, he’s not going to take your mind off the boy you are really thinking about. Lesson learned.

My summer job is a joke. I give tours of the capitol building. Nobody comes up to Alaska to tour the capitol. They come up for whale watching cruises or dog mushing rides. But my job pays way better than those other touristy jobs and I know I won’t have to work much. I don’t feel like busting my ass since it could be my last summer in Juneau.

And, God do I hope it’s my last summer doing this shit. Meaning, I really, really want a job that requires at least one ounce of actual thinking each day. What do I have to do to get a real job?! I got another 2 rejection letters today. One actually said, “Priority was given to a person who was born and raised” in Alaska. At least they were honest about it for once. I am so sick of trying to break into this stupid ‘Alaska Club’. Excuse me for not being born here but I can’t believe you are hiring a 23-year old with no experience over me just because I wasn’t born in Fairbanks.

Part of my problem is I have started being picky. I have turned down three jobs so far this year. I just want to like my next ‘real’ job. Is that really such an unrealistic goal? All of the jobs I turned down would have been cubicle hell and I would have been looking for something else within a year. I thought the economy was supposed to be improving. It sucks being so close over and over again.

And finally, WebMD is not a good website to go to when you can’t sleep. In fact, I think there should be a way to ban it from my computer. I am going to die from about 27 different obscure and awful diseases within the next year. Fuck.

Ice Cream & People Magazine

2011-05-16T15:41:00.003-05:00

My summer is going to be pretty dull. Especially after the last few months. Juneau is a land locked capital, which means now that the legislative session is over all my new wonk friends are scattering throughout the state and I have no idea when I will see them again. Probably not until next session and that doesn’t start until January. And that is assuming I can manage to get a job in the capitol building, which is most definitely not a guarantee. As everyone floods out of Juneau, I am lamenting the loss of my much improved social life. I might be just about the only person that worked in the building that is not looking forward to the interim.

Session ending also means my new gentleman friend left this morning. I keep trying to tell myself that at least the session was extended this year and I got to spend three extra weeks with him. I also keep telling myself that I am continuing to plug away at jobs in this field so the odds are our paths will eventually cross again. That doesn’t change the fact though, that I have to sleep alone now. It is amazing how fast you can get used to sharing a bed with someone. I went into it knowing it was only going to be a short term thing but that doesn’t mean I can’t be sad about it. At least for a few days. I’m giving myself a carton of Tillamook Mint Chocolate Chip and People's Will & Kate wedding special to wallow and then I’m moving on. It doesn’t help that I have a mind-numbingly boring summer job that doesn’t start until Thursday and very little else going on to keep my mind off of being lonely. At least it is summer in Juneau which means that while I may be bored, I can still take hikes after work or fish or go out on a boat. There are worse things.

Love and Hate

2011-05-05T19:04:00.003-05:00

Things that really bug me:
1. Sheets. I mean, I have a fitted sheet on my bed obviously but I hate the feeling of tucked in sheets. I like getting into a messy bed with a big fluffy comforter and burrowing into it.
2. Not being able to give 1/2 stars on Netflix. I don’t know why this bugs me so much, but really, how much is that to ask?!
3. Olives. Every.single.kind.
4. Dogs that jump on you. I don’t care what breed, 20 pounds or 200 pounds that shit is not cool.
5. Elizabeth Moss. She’s on Mad Men and I know some people think she is pretty but I don’t really see it. I want to like her because I absolutely loved West Wing, but I find her kind of annoying.

Things I Heart:
1. Forehead kisses. And just making out in general really. I’ve been seeing someone and I absolutely love the beginning of a relationship when you just make out for hours and can’t stop thinking about that person. When none of their annoying habits annoy you yet and you fall asleep tangled up together and haven’t moved when you wake up. Unfortunately, this guy is moving soon and I have no idea what is going to happen. But for now, I will take the kisses and not worry about the rest.
2. Friday Night Lights. I just finished watching the last season and am bummed out. I was hoping Mad Men would replace it, but it’s just not the same. (See #4 above)
3. Chai.

My mom kicks ass.

2011-03-31T23:59:00.001-05:00

I have been sick forever. And by forever, I mean I'm going on day 8. I get sick about twice a year and I am the biggest whiny baby when I am sick. Today, I was coughing on my couch feeling sorry for myself when the mail came. My mom mailed me a can of chicken noodle soup, a box of Kleenex and a bunch of magazines. I almost started to cry. My mom is pretty effing awesome.

Last Night

2011-03-10T22:38:00.005-05:00

Even though the news out of Wisconsin is depressing, Alaska is still awe inspiring enough to get me out of a funk. I haven't seen the Northern Lights in years, but they were out last night in full force. This is not my photo because my camera sucks but my friend took this shot last night. It's the same glacier as the photos in the last post. It was wicked cold out but I stuck it out to enjoy a sight that always lifts my spirits no matter how bad of a mood I might be in.

4 Day Weekend

2011-03-06T21:33:00.006-05:00

Since my new job started, I've been working a lot. Even some weekends. So when I found out I was getting a four day weekend, my plan was to clean my apartment and do my laundry and take out the recycling and all that other fun stuff I've been letting pile up. But then the sun came out and it warmed up to 30 degrees, something we haven't seen in awhile up here. What's a girl to do? Screw the cleaning, I decided to get outside!
I live right near a glacier. Glaciers are beautiful. The ice caves around the glacier are spectacular. Nothing beats enjoying a Vitamin R while soaking up some Vitamin D.
Since I decided not to clean, I figured I could take some time to hike out to one of my favorite cabins. What can I say? The sun makes me happy.
It's staying light out until after 6 p.m. now. Spring is in the air regardless of how much snow is on the ground. This is my favorite time of year in Juneau. I may not know what I am doing once my job ends yet, but it's hard to dwell on the scary stuff when you are outside enjoying nature!

Dinner!

2011-02-25T01:54:00.001-05:00

I’m working with a bunch of young people right out of college. They all grew up in Alaska. One of the biggest differences between kids that grew up in Alaska and the rest of us? When I was living off ramen, I’d fancy it up by adding some mushrooms or onion. Or sometimes when I was getting really crazy, an egg. Today I discovered that kids up here add king salmon or crab to their ramen. It makes sense, but damn.

If you can read this, thank a teacher!

2011-02-18T17:21:00.003-05:00

Both of my parents are public teachers. They work late into the night grading papers and creating lesson plans. They deal with limited supplies, classroom size that grows every year, little respect, classroom fights, budget cuts and kids that come from unbelievably sad backgrounds. They do it because they love to teach. They want to make the world a better place. They love kids. They certainly didn't become teachers because the pay was so amazing. If you hate unions, do your own electrical work, put out your own fires, teach your own kids, police your own communities, staff your own jail, work your own steel, build your own car. Walk a mile in the shoes of a working class union family. Sure, some people slack off and abuse the power of a union, but that is not the norm. And it is not the reason Wisconsin has a budget deficit. And whatever you do, don't talk shit about my parents (or public school teachers in general) or I will hurt you. I went to an inner city public school my whole life, don't think I can't fuck a bitch up. But I also got a damn good education.

Hello!

2011-02-10T15:05:00.002-05:00

Normally, I get about 12-15 blog visitors each day. However, my NFL doppelganger posts generate more blog traffic. Especially on game days. Hello, Super Bowl! None of those visitors are going to come back to read about my super awesome life, which is their loss, but it was pretty awesome to see such a huge bump in traffic. Sure, it totally went to my head and I felt super popular for one day. But who wants to be popular anyway?

Calories don't count on your birthday

2011-02-05T12:35:00.002-05:00

Happy birthday to me! I ate cheese curds for breakfast. No, I am not starting Atkins. My awesome parents sent me a birthday/Super Bowl care package with cheese curds, Leinenkugels and Packers paraphernalia. I finished off the cheese curds today. Which means I officially ate one pound of cheese in just under 72 hours. I also ate left over cream cheese frosting for breakfast. The cake was gone days ago. Technically that probably counts as even more cheese. I think my goal is to surprise even myself with how much food I can consume in one day. I am off to a good start.

Dirty Sanchez

2011-02-04T20:07:00.005-05:00

I will deny this if it is ever brought up in front of my parents or any of my family/friends in Wisconsin, but I was kind of hoping for a Bears/Jets Super Bowl. Of course, Sanchez sucks and that was never going to happen, but nothing makes me more homesick than trying to watch a Packers game in Juneau. I feel like I have a lot of friends here, but I would say I only have a handful of really close friends. I am completely fine with that. I would much rather have a few really close friends than a ton of not so close ones. But I have watched every single NFL game this year with two people. One is a Steelers fan and one is a Bears fan. Since no matter what, either the Bears or Packers were going to be in the Super Bowl, I thought that if the Bears won and the Steelers lost, we could all still watch the game together. I guess the Packers/Jets would have worked too, but then they both would have been blase about the whole thing and that would have taken some of the fun out of it too.

Anyway, two weeks ago I knew I couldn't watch the Packers/Bears game with my friend and not get upset at some point. I also knew that he would much rather watch the game with the Steelers fan. I am not blind or mentally handicapped. I know I can't hold my own in a football conversation with two very smart guys who know what they are talking about and have more than 20 years of football knowledge on me. But that doesn't mean that I enjoy watching games alone.

Every year that I've been in Juneau I've watched the Super Bowl at the Steelers fan's house but I get it. I know I can't watch the game with a him this year. But it still pisses me off sometimes that I can't hold my own with the guys. And even though the Bears fan has said he won't root for the Steelers, I know it will suck for him to watch the game with me at some crappy bar instead of going over to the Steelers fan's house. Not only will there be better food over there, they will both be able to discuss the finer points of the game. I wouldn't ask him to do that, even if I was hoping I wouldn't have to.

But it's winter (which everyone already knows I hate) and now I don't get to hang out with either one of them for the game. I already see less of them in the winter because I am not a great skier. And since it's my party, I'll cry if I want to. Seriously, it was supposed to be my party. I mean, it's my birthday and the Packers are in the Super Bowl, I should be super happy.

SUPER BOWL, BITCHES!

2011-01-23T23:29:00.001-05:00

The Packers are going to the Super Bowl!! I celebrated with moose ribs.

Booyah!

2011-01-16T12:23:00.000-05:00

‎"I've been messin around with this game for about 50 years and this is the greatest individual performance in a playoff game I have ever seen."
-Mike Ditka, referring to Aaron Rodgers in the Green Bay Packers win over the #1 seeded Atlanta Falcons.

Training

2011-01-14T00:44:00.001-05:00

My new ~~internship~~ job is pretty much what I expected. Make coffee, deliver mail, yadda yadda. I am by far the oldest, and I am also the only girl and I am taller than all the kiddos. Yep, it's awesome. I am relieved that they are all old enough to drink at least. I knew they would all be young and I was worried that if they were under 21 they'd ask me to buy them beer and I'd be the lame old lady that said no. Now I'm just the lame old lady that told them it might not be appropriate to listen to rap in our break room. I don't give a crap what they listen to, but if it's laced with n-bombs and "f*ck a b*t#h" every other line, I'm pretty sure there is at least one person walking by our office is going to have a problem with it. So I suggested headphones. Yeah, I'm that lady. I don't care. I am using this job to if nothing else, get good recommendations for future jobs. Hopefully, I might even get a job offer out of all of this.

2011

2011-01-04T21:14:00.003-05:00

Judging from the way it started, I'm going to say that 2011 will be a good year!

Officially Temporarily Unemployed

2010-12-29T16:23:00.003-05:00

One of the surprising things about the last few weeks has been all the little signs that keep reminding me how lucky I am. On Christmas morning my neighbors invited me up to their apartment for breakfast. They made me a stocking too, exactly like the stockings I used to get as a kid. I really felt like part of their family, like I was being included not out of pity or obligation, but because I belonged there. And that truly is a peaceful feeling. I don't know how else to describe it.

In the afternoon I went to another friend’s house where it has become a custom for all us Christmas orphans to congregate around a gigantic pot of gumbo and watch movies. A few inches of snow, a few great friends, a ton of great food – without my family around, it was about as good as it could have been.

I am nervous about leaving my job. I have basically accepted an internship position that will only last for the next four months. I am not sure what I will do after that yet. It’s a bit unsettling. My former boss didn’t even bother to say goodbye, but I had other coworkers that took me out to lunch and out for a drink and they told me how much they’d miss me and that made my last few days a little less scary.

I have friends in Alaska and Wisconsin that have offered me a place to stay if I ever need it and I have been given a heads up on countless jobs, whether they are a good fit or not. But it makes me happy to know that there are people out there that are watching out for me. I've pretty much decided not to look at jobs up here anymore. If a great job falls in my lap, that would be wonderful, but otherwise I am on the May 24 ferry out of town, which coincidentally will be exactly three years to the day after I moved back. Juneau has a weird way of getting under your skin. But I am getting really sick of cross-country moves, so I have a feeling that if I do leave, I will only be back for visits. The thought of leaving the amazing people that have basically become my family terrifies me. But who knows what tomorrow will bring? All I am focusing on right now is how amazing my support system is and I know that no matter where I end up, there are people in my corner and that is enough right now.

2010 By the Numbers

2010-12-21T07:11:00.007-05:00

Trips out of Alaska: 2

Miles flown: 12,992

Beeramids made: 2

Games of Bejeweled Blitz: 1,276 and counting

Layoffs: 1

Jobs applied to: 18

Job interviews: 6

New job offers: 2

Faceplants: 1

Pounds lost: Let's round to 30

Christmas cards mailed: 20

Christmas cards received: 3

Sexual partners: 2

Pregnancies/STD's: 0

Bottles of rum consumed: 3 (At home, doesn't count drinking in bars...)

Plants killed: 1

Books read: 18

Knitting projects completed: 5

Knitting projects started: 11

Cabins visited: 2

Trails hiked: 6 (hiked several of them more than once)

Trails biked: 2

Flat tires changed: 2

Weddings attended: 3

Brrr!

2010-12-19T21:54:00.005-05:00

Let's say you own a gas station in Alaska. And let's also say that it is winter. Why on Earth would you stock warm weather windshield washer fluid that freezes in temperatures below 20 degrees? Yeah, you wouldn't. Apparently the person who does the ordering at the gas station near my house didn't get that memo though. And now I get to deal with a very dirty windshield and a huge block of frozen windshield wiper fluid.

At least it was a really beautiful weekend.

Skier at sunset.
Sunset at Mendenhall Lake. I am still not used to skating/skiing/walking on frozen bodies of water but I'm glad I sucked it up and went out!

Last Chance

2010-12-17T18:17:00.003-05:00

It's down to the waiting game for the last potential job that could save me from my current uninsured, under-paid fate. I am not holding my breath. I am very sick of rejection at this point. And every time I get that 'sorry-but-we-hired-someone-else' call, I ask if there is anything I could do to improve my interview or my resume. I have never once gotten any helpful feedback from asking, so I don't know why I even bother any more. I keep hearing about how great my interview was and how enthusiastic I am - some have gone as far as actually telling me I was the second choice. They always encourage me to "keep plugging away" because eventually someone will "be lucky to get you". I understand that they just want to get the phone call over with and no one wants to be the bearer of bad news, and even though I am sure it would sting, just once I would like to hear the real reason I wasn't hired. Am I too old? Young? Too fat? White? Sure, some of those reasons would be illegal so I know I will never hear them, but hell, even if it was something like my breath smells - at least I would have something to work on.

Next week is going to suck. I am training for a new job that I am not excited about, and I still have to clean up some stuff at my old job. And now that all my disposable income is gone, I can't go out to eat or drink to try to take my mind off of how miserable my life has become. So, four readers, keep your fingers crossed for me. The odds of me getting this last job are slim to none, but I guess nothing is impossible, right?

Scratch that

2010-12-13T14:11:00.002-05:00

So, filling out paperwork for the new job this morning I realized that I was wrong and they do not, in fact, offer health insurance. Um, seriously? I thought that was the only thing non-profits had going for them. Crappy pay, but at least you get basic benefits. This job pays crap and doesn't have health or any type of retirement benefits. I no longer feel bad about setting up another job interview this week and I sure don't feel bad about leaving at any point in the near future. Ugh.

Funemployment

2010-12-13T07:59:00.001-05:00

Looking over my unemployment ‘benefits’, I realized that my COBRA health insurance is going to be $608 a month. How on Earth is someone supposed to be able to afford that? Between that and rent, unemployment benefits gone. Bam. Seriously, what do you do if you have kids?

Anyway, I don’t actually have to worry about COBRA because I accepted a job offer. You read that right - I have to stop bitching about being laid off now. But don’t you worry, four readers, because I know you only come here to read my venting. Now you will get to hear all about a new job that I’m not really excited about. It’s a pretty significant pay cut, but it is waaaay better than having to ask my parents for help. I don’t really know what I’ll be doing yet so I am not being vague on purpose.

It’s obviously a huge relief to have something figured and I am trying not to think too far beyond that. I feel a little bit guilty because I am pretty sure that I am still going to move back home next fall, so I am taking this job knowing full well that I won’t be there very long. But that is thinking way down the road, which is exactly what I am trying not to do. Besides, knowing me I will have about 50 different plans before the Superbowl, so holding on to one plan all the way until next fall is about as likely as the Lions winning the Superbowl this year. (And I don't want to see any gd comments about the Lions beating the Packers yesterday. I didn't say the Packers were going to win either so just shut it.)

2010 in Review

2010-12-09T16:06:00.006-05:00

Aside from the last month and a half, 2010 has been a pretty damn good year. And even though I have no idea what 2011 is going to bring, I'm kind of excited about it. Hopefully it will be even better.

In March, I went to Maui and by the time I got back to Juneau, I even had a bit of a tan!

This summer I saw a ton of orca. I hate to say that I don't get as excited about humpbacks anymore, but they are just so common around here. It's like getting excited about seeing a deer in Wisconsin. But I still get a rush when I see killer whales. And I saw plenty of them this year. If I end up back in the Midwest in 2011, at least I got to see a lot of whales.

And of course, my sister got married this fall, which was awesome. Best wedding I've been to in a long time. Of course, it helped that I knew pretty much everyone there and got kinda wasted.

Anyway, I've been dwelling on the negative way too much lately and it's time to stop. It is not a resolution because resolutions are stupid, but it's definitely time to move on. I mean, don't get me wrong - I'll still complain about things because that's just the way I roll, but I think there is a difference between wallowing and complaining.

If you are what you eat...

2010-12-08T14:45:00.002-05:00

Then on Sunday, I was a McDonald's breakfast, bar nachos and a foot-long sub made by a guy who was so stoned out of his mind that my sub ended up weighing at least 2-pounds. The healthiest thing I consumed all day was the four Bloody Mary's I had at the bar. I've never been so close to becoming bulimic in my life.

Piss Off

2010-11-22T14:44:00.003-05:00

It seems like everyone has been having a crappy fall, but I have to admit I am sick of hearing about other peoples problems. Don't get me wrong, I care about my friends and I want them to be happy but I've got my own shit to deal with right now and I am sick of taking care of other people. Why does your break-up or your shitty day at work or your homework or your flat tire or even your birthday denial always require something from me? And how do you not help someone without looking like a total asshole? I want to tell everyone to piss off, but I still care enough to know that I don't want all my friends mad at me.

But I feel like I am getting close to my breaking point. I went out on Saturday night and was nice as pie to random strangers and those friends you have that you only see every once in awhile. The people that never call you if they are in trouble. The ones you don't expect anything from. But I was definitely bordering on bitch with my close friends. I don't want to be that person. I feel like things aren't really that bad for me, but I can't shake this funk I'm in. And I hate that. Normally I overreact initally but then get over things pretty fast. Not having a game plan is messing that all up.

I had a gift certificate for a local hotel this weekend and last night I just sat in the hotel room to be alone. I didn't watch tv or read. I literally just sat there looking out the window being alone. And I didn't think about anything or anyone. And it was fantastic.

When life hands you lemons, go camping

2010-11-16T00:07:00.006-05:00

I decided last minute to go camping this weekend and I am super happy I did. It might have been wet and muddy, but it was worth it. Good food, good company, good times.

There wasn't much elevation gain, which made me think it wouldn't be too difficult but the trail wasn't in great shape and it pretty much kicked my ass.

The trail was soaking wet and probably one of the muddiest hikes I've ever been on.

This guy didn't seem to mind being around people at all.

I love the public cabin system in Alaska.

Mr. Prudey

2010-11-12T13:07:00.002-05:00

Leave it to me to find the one recently divorced prude in Juneau. My date was... basically it wasn't even a date. I was going to say it was a bust, but it wasn't even that. We were supposed to go see a movie, but when he hadn't called and the movie was supposed to start in 30 minutes, I went out with my friends instead. I was completely fine with that because all my friends were having a lot of fun and I didn't want to miss out. Anyway, he finally called about five minutes before the movie started. I told him we should meet up for a drink at some point that evening since we missed the movie. I should have just blown him off.

We texted a back and forth all evening, which is what we have been doing for weeks. I fully admit that I was a bit tipsy but at this point I wanted to either get the ball rolling or figure out now if this whole thing wasn't going to go anywhere. Let me just say that I have no idea where I am going to be six months from now and I am not looking for anything serious. But this guy got divorced this past summer so I assumed that he couldn't really be looking for a huge commitment either. We met for a drink, had mediocre conversation and fooled around a bit. No big deal, right?

Fast forward to the next day. I get a facebook message that says I am "cool" but he feels like I am using him and it feels like a one night stand and this "relationship" is something we will both end up regretting. Um, seriously? Know what makes it feel like a one night stand? You ending it after one night, that's what. And you know what I regret, douchebag? I regret not getting off at all when you seemed pretty damn happy by the time I got out of your stupid Volkswagen. I regret the fact that I picked the one prude in Juneau when for the first time in a really long time I was not looking for anything more than a booty call. Seriously, why do I always pick the losers?

Hazy daze...

2010-11-05T10:47:00.004-05:00

Today, like most days recently, I spent the majority of my time staring off into space vaguely wondering what I should do with my life. There are just so many directions I could go right now and none of them seem to be the ‘right’ way. Normally in this situation I would make a pro/con list, albeit a mental one, but that only works when I have option A and option B. Right now I am trying to decide where I want to live, where I want to work and whether I want to go back to school, and there are a lot of combinations of those three things.

Also, my dog is starting to slow down. Unless you know me you don’t realize how much that is impacting all of my decisions. I have been trying to ignore that fact that she is having more trouble with the stairs and her back legs are starting to give out more often, but there is only so much longer I can deny what I am seeing. I hate, hate, hate that she is old. I hate that she doesn’t want to cuddle with me more. I feel like Lennie from Of Mice and Men, I just want to keep petting her all day. I pray every night that when the time comes she will just die in her sleep because I am not sure I am strong enough to let her go when her time comes.

So, that is what I have been thinking about these days. I have not really been thinking about the fact that I have a date tonight. I thought it would be a good distraction, but I have to admit I have not put much thought into it other than to acknowledge that I have to be ready to go around 7ish. I have absolutely nothing in common with this guy. Honestly, I just thought he would be a good winter pastime. And if that makes me slutty, good. I’ve been a prude for way too long.

This blog, like my life right now, is pretty disjointed. But sometimes it just feels good to write.

Well, that's just great.

2010-11-01T00:54:00.002-05:00

So, instead of rallying it up in DC all weekend, I caught a cold and got a $457 doctor bill, which is what I get for going to the doctor at all. It's been so long since I went to the doctor even for routine preventive stuff that I completely forgot you have to pay for everything until you hit your deductible. If I had remembered that, I probably wouldn't have opted for so many of the stupid blood panels.

Anyway, at least I stopped drinking so much. This week I am going to start hitting the classifieds big time. I am trying to decide how desperate I am at this point. I don't think I'm bank teller desperate just yet, but I also don't know how long that is going to last. I have been trying not to think about my work situation much, but when I do stop to think about it I can't help but feel angry. I hate being mad about things and I hate holding grudges but I am not sure how to get over something like this. Probably the same way I get over men. I won't be completely over it until I have moved on to another job. I seriously hope that a new job shows up soon...

Evolution of Acceptance

2010-10-29T09:03:00.006-05:00

Monday
9:07 a.m. - Go in for a ‘quick meeting’ and end up getting laid off. It was such a surprise to me that I didn’t cry or yell, which in hindsight is a good thing.

10:48 a.m. – Surprise! My boss sends out an all staff email letting everyone know. I really appreciated the whooping 101 minutes they gave me to absorb what was going on and let me process it.

Noonish – Decided I didn’t need to be at work anymore that day.

1:37 p.m. – Cried when I told my mom what happened.

3:02 p.m. – Read about 500 pages of The Help by Kathryn Stockett, which is really good.

5ish – Went for a 3-mile run. Not my fastest time ever, but it felt good.

7ish – Went out for a burger/MNF.

10:15 p.m. – My friend, Jorge, is in a hockey league and had a late game. I decided to go watch. He took a weird hit from the puck and fractured his foot, which took my mind off my day for about 30 minutes.

Tuesday

Slept until almost 10 a.m. Went out and bought a pack of cigarettes, a fifth of rum and a Papa Murphy’s pizza. Finished off all three. Got drunk enough to send this text message:

I know we haven’t really clicked, but it’s winter in Juneau so if you ever want to get together and just make out or whatever, let me know.

It totally worked.

Wednesday

Hungover and facing a trip to my office to box shit up, I have one of the vicodin Jorge got for his foot. I can see why Brett Pervre, er Favre, was addicted to that shit. It’s amazing.

Thursday

At some point in the day, I decide that Corn Nuts and Halloween candy are the way to go and eat nothing else all day. By the second commercial break during Grey’s Anatomy I have abused myself so completely that I throw up.

Friday

Wake up late, throw some shit in a bag and get to the airport just in time to board my flight to DC for the Rally! I think it is interested to note that my former employers sent out an email to all employees saying that they were forbidden to attend the Rally. What a bunch of douchebags. Thank God I am no longer working for them!

Update: Goddamnit motherfucking assmuching cocksucking sonofabitch! I knew this was going to happen. The piece of shit weather in Juneau sucks today and my flight was cancelled and I am not going to make the rally because I live in the shittiest fucking place on the planet. I cannot wait to get the fuck out of Juneau. New plan for the day: took a vicodin, ate some jalapeno poppers, bought enough rum, vodka and beer to supply an army and if I can remember my name by the end of the day then my whole life has lost it's meaning.

More NFL Look-Alikes

2010-10-27T14:08:00.010-05:00

Because I have nothing better to do:
Once again, I am starting off easy. Former Chicago Bears quarterback and current major Broncos disappointment Kyle Orton. I'm sure you know where I am going with this one. That's right, he's a dead ringer for Foo Fighters/Nirvana Dave Grohl.

Jets QB Mark Sanchez. Yum. He was a tough one.

I couldn't decide if he looked more like Fez from That 70's Show:

Or Adrian Grenier:

I finally decided on Adrian only because I think he is hotter. And Sanchez is most definitely hot.

And finally, Jim Fassel.

Did you guess this one? He totally reminds me of Robin Williams.

Pink Slip

2010-10-26T15:31:00.004-05:00

So, when I said that I put in my notice at work, I was exaggerating a bit. My boss was on vacation, so I didn't officially give written notice. On Monday morning, with my boss back we had a "quick" meeting at 9am, which I thought was going to be about a few of our upcoming projects. Instead, I got laid off. I didn't realize how much of a difference there would be between choosing to leave on your own terms in your own time and being told you are done. They handled the whole situation really poorly too.

On the plus side, since I am not quitting, I get unemployment. The down side of that is that unemployment benefits suck and will not cover my monthly expenses even after I have cancelled my gym membership, my farm share, my Internet connection and my Netflix account. I'll still be short $96/month and that is assuming I never spend money on any form of entertainment. Thank God I don't have a kid to support.

I wasn't planning on starting off my week by becoming a statistic.

Thoughts of the day

2010-10-20T17:47:00.003-05:00

Not at all surprising of the day: Alaska gives every person that lives here oil money each year. This year they sent out just under $1,300. I decided to pay off my car with the money. So on Monday, I was driving behind a douchey SUV when they kicked up a rock that cracked my windshield. When I took it in to get fixed, I was told it was ‘gnarly’ and unfixable. Great. Then, at the gas station another douchey monster truck decided to test his turning radius by ‘bumping’ into my car while I was at the pump. And by ‘bumping’, I mean he rammed into the back hard enough to dent it while leaving his vehicle without a scratch. Then he told me it was my fault for buying foreign. My corolla probably has more parts made in the US than his stupid Dodge Ram, but whatever. That’s pretty much what I get for paying off my car early.

Rally of the day: Only a week until I’m DC bound and I can.not.wait!!! I think Obama is going to be there. I still don’t have a sign idea. Too bad nobody reads this blog anymore to help me out...

Advice of the day: Don’t bring up someone else’s weight loss. Seriously, it’s none of your business. Would you go up to someone and tell them they look like they’ve gained weight? No. I’m sure you think it’s a compliment, but not everyone is going to take it that way. “Wow! You look fantastic, how much weight have you lost?!” Seriously? Fuck you. Now, not only do I feel like I looked like shit before but I also feel like I was as big as a house. I haven’t even lost enough weight to warrant a new pair of pants and you are making such a big ass deal out of 15 pounds that you’d think I just won the Biggest Loser. Shut up.

Oh yeah of the day: My roommate is gone for a few months and she was either going to move out or she needed to get someone to sublet. I didn’t want to lose her as a roommate so for the next four weeks I am living with a guy who is in town from Anchorage. I forgot how much easier it is to live with a boy. It has been a long time since I lived with a guy and I don’t mean to stereotype because I am sure there are exceptions, but it seems like they are in general more chill than females. I have absolutely nothing against my roommate - I’m looking forward to having her come back. But this guy is pretty awesome.

More NFL Doppelgangers

2010-10-17T18:21:00.010-05:00

Last year, I blogged about all the doppelgangers there are in the NFL. Perhaps it's because I am hungover and unable to get off the couch today, or maybe it's because that last post still generates most of my blog traffic, but I decided to revisit the topic.

First up, Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees. I decided to start with an easy one, so sue me.

I recently saw Alias for the first time, which is probably why I never noticed before how much he looks like Michael Vartan.

Clay Matthews:

He looks like Chris Jericho. Or maybe a roided out Spicoli...

But the one I really noticed today was Miami kicker Dan Carpenter. I don't really know much about the Dolphins, so I have never paid attention to him before.

But he totally looks like a happy little Boromir from Lord of the Rings! It's adorable.

And now that I brought it up, I am going to go watch the Fellowship of the Ring. The perfect cure for a wicked hangover.

Random Thoughts

2010-10-15T15:38:00.001-05:00

The weather has been really crappy for weeks now, which is making me realize that I am cutting it really close to get to DC in time for the rally. One plane delay and I could miss the whole thing. I am slightly stressing out about my poor planning.

Recently, I have been shedding way more hair than normal. There is no male or female baldness in my family and I just went to the doctor and I know I don’t have any thyroid issues. (Side note: I also learned that I have, and I quote, “Great cholesterol.”) I am stressing out more than just a little because I don’t have much hair to begin with and I will seriously freak the fuck out if I am going bald. I can’t think of what else could be causing my hair to fall out at such an alarming rate. Every test they did came back normal. And most disturbing of all is the fact that when I google hair loss, there is nothing that can really be done about it. I look stupid in hats. I cannot be a baldie.

I have a super secret job interview! Okay, it’s not really a secret, but I am not telling anyone about it because I am never going to get the job. (Hint: I would be way more likely to be hired for this particular job if I looked more like Jenn Sterger.)

Monday is Alaska Day, which means I have a 3-day weekend. So do state employees. It’s nice living somewhere that just randomly throws in extra paid holidays. (Yes plural, I also get Seward’s Day off.) I will miss that when I am back down south.

A Change Will Do You Good

2010-10-06T18:17:00.003-05:00

Ok, I did something huge today. I do not have a new job lined up. I don’t have a clue what I am going to do next year. Grad school, move back to Wisconsin without a job, move back with a job, stay in Alaska - who knows?? But I DO know that I cannot stay at my current job. My friend and former blogger, Jorge, can’t understand why I complain about a job that pays me to do nothing. I think he’d last six months tops sitting around sucking at his job every day. No one wants to feel useless at work.

Anyway, I have been complaining about this for awhile and today I got offered a job in Wisconsin. A job I don’t particularly want. A job that would not be a step up or pay anymore than what I make now. A job that would keep me chained to a desk for another few years while I slowly lose interest and look for something ‘better’. I did not accept the job offer.

But I did put in my notice at work.

I know I should be freaking out right now. I basically quit my job - even though I gave plenty of notice and will stick around until the end of the year. I should really be freaking out though. I have no idea what I am going to do next. The economy sucks and I’ve been looking for a job without any success for months. I’m crazy to be quitting a job that gives me health insurance and doesn’t care if I don’t show up until 10 am.

But the only emotion I can drum up right now is relief. I am FINALLY doing something about being unhappy. Yes, maybe I will regret it in March when I have to resort to asking my parents for a loan, but I just have a feeling this is the right thing to do. It’s exciting not knowing what’s in store for the future. Sure, it’s a little nerve-racking but honestly, it’s about time.

Hello, October. Now please go away.

2010-10-05T16:14:00.001-05:00

“...WIND ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 10 PM AKDT THIS EVENING...
TODAY...RAIN. VERY WINDY. HIGHS AROUND 51. SOUTHEAST WIND
20 TO 30 MPH WITH GUSTS UP TO 55 MPH.”

Let’s see, rain? Yes. Power outage? Check. Wind? Small craft advisory? You got it. Yep, it’s officially fall. In Wisconsin, you get crisp, clear nights and crunchy leaves to walk through and apple picking. In Juneau, you get cold and wet. Why did I think it would be a good idea to wait until next spring to get out of here again?

I'd like to apologize

2010-10-04T15:15:00.002-05:00

For all Alaskan politicians. They all suck. I don't know who to vote for this year. Joe Miller is a horrible, horrible person. The fact that the people of Alaska are dumb enough to push him through a primary makes me angry. And sad. But I don't think Scott McAdams, our 'Alaskan democrat', which basically means he'd be a Republican anywhere else, has a chance in hell of winning. He might have had a chance, but Lisa Murkowski had to become the Ralph Nader of Alaska this year. And while I don't like her, I don't hate her either. And I think she has a better chance of winning that McAdams. I'm sick of voting for the lesser of two evils.

And I cannot believe Feingold might not win Wisconsin. What the hell is going on in this country?!

Time to Rally!

2010-09-28T17:43:00.002-05:00

So, it's almost October in Juneau and it is raining and starting to get dark and you have been in a funk for over a week now.

So what's a girl to do? That's right, I just blew all my frequent flier miles on a ticket to DC for the Stewart/Colbert RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY! (Or, as some prefer to call it, the MARCH TO KEEP FEAR ALIVE!)

Sparks

2010-09-24T11:52:00.002-05:00

It has been really hard for me to get back into the swing of things after my vacation. The days are getting shorter and winter is looming. Once again, I am determined to make the best of winter this year and I'm hoping to get better at skiing, blah, blah, blah. But it is not my favorite time of year so even if I hadn’t just gotten back from a fabulous vacation, I’d probably be a bit depressed.

While I was home, I subjected myself to a blind date. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't date much. In the last two years, I have forced myself to go out with exactly two guys. And I knew going into those dates that I wasn't really interested, but it gets lonely not being in a relationship and you get to the point where you tell yourself that anyone is better than being alone. Then you go out with someone you have no interest in and you decide being alone isn't so bad. I haven't had a spark with anyone since I dated the guy who pretty much broke my heart way back when I still lived in Wisconsin. Honestly, I think I'd forgotten that there even could be a spark. But I started talking to Blind Date Guy about a week before I went home. He seemed like a nice guy. We seemed to have a similar sense of humor. I would go so far as to say that I was actually cautiously optimistic about meeting him. Anyway, in person, we clicked. And now I miss him even though I'm sure it only worked because I was only in town for a few weeks. But it reminded me of what dating can be like. And it made coming back to Juneau that much harder.

I don't know where to even begin meeting someone here. I don't want to meet someone in a bar. I feel like I am always trying to stay busy and try new things, but I never meet any eligible guys. I've tried art classes and I joined a trap team and a book club and a pool (billiards) league. Nothing. I know a pity party doesn't help matters any, but that's about all I've been able to manage this week.

The other thing that was hard to come back to was my job. I have not been happy with my job for awhile now and getting a break made me realize that I really need to do something. I can't sit at a desk in a dead end job for the rest of my life. I have no room to grow and I simply don't like what I am doing right now. I have been talking about doing something different for years, but it's so easy to get complacent. I love Juneau and I love my friends here, but every week is the exact same thing. There is no where for me to go in my job and there are no other jobs in town. I've been looking for over a year now and I know that if I stay here, I am going to do mindless office work for the rest of my life.

My whole point is that I am thinking about leaving Juneau whether I find a job back home or not. I’m toying with the idea of applying for jobs that I never would have considered in the past. Like retail. Store managers at Target or REI or whatever make bank after a few years. And you aren’t chained to a desk all day - you are constantly on the move. I’m sure I’d get sick of that some days, but I’d rather be busy than sitting around with nothing to do. I also started a grad school application. If I don’t find a job, next fall I just might go back to school.

I make plans and then change them ALL the time, but this decision just feels right, you know? Moving back to Wisconsin next year for a job or for school just seems like what I should be doing right now. There are a lot of variables and I know my plans could change but for now, just having a plan is enough. It's far enough in the future that it gives me time to wrap my head around leaving Alaska again. So I can make sure that I do everything I want to do while I am here. It also makes the thought of spending yet another winter here and another holiday away from my family more tolerable. And it gives me time to accept the fact that I am going to have to pack up all my shit for another cross country move. Moving blows.

I guess I have always in the back of my mind considered Alaska a temporary stop. Leaving Juneau the first time around was hard. This time won't be any different. All my friends are here. It is easily the most beautiful place I have ever lived. But when I think about what I want to be doing with my life, it's not playing bejeweled all day at a desk. When I think about my sister having kids, I know that I don't want to be the aunt that lives 3,000 miles away and only sees nieces or nephews once a year.

Basically, I want to put a spark back in my life. My whole life. And this is the first time in a long time that I have been even remotely excited about doing anything. Now I just have to figure out how I am going to get through one last winter here.

Oh crap.

2010-09-21T14:19:00.003-05:00

Over three weeks of unlimited fast food, cheese curds and beer, coupled with the fact that I didn't really run the entire time I was home means that I did NOT meet my goal of gaining less than 4 pounds while on vacation... I'd like to say that Taco Bell was worth it, but that is, in fact, a lie. Sigh.

I finally get a brother-in-law!

2010-09-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

It's finally time for the wedding and I'm actually really excited about it. Plus, there's a hot tub at the hotel and I've been looking forward to that since July. I realized today that I don't have my speech done though, so I am pretty much just going to wing it. Oops. I am the worst maid of honor ever. Oh well, I really don't think that my sister is going to care. I mean, seriously, who even remembers the toasts anyway?

The bachelorette party was a big success! The cookies turned out awesome and the bride & groom really seemed to like their hats...

I can't believe my vacation is almost over. Apparently, I missed absolutely gorgeous weather for the last week and a half in Juneau. I am a little bummed out about that, but it's been amazing here too, so it's hard to complain. (You're shocked, I know. But that's what happens when I go on vacation. Don't worry, I'll be back to my old bitchy self in no time!)

Summer fling, don't mean a thing...

2010-09-08T09:50:00.003-05:00

Vacation is going well. Maybe a bit too well. I don't want to go home. I can't and don't want to wrap my head around everything that has been going on. And I am not even going to try until I'm back home and I've had time to process... everything. For now, I am going to go back to my lazy day of reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest in the hammock in the backyard. With a cocktail.

Peace Out, Bitches!

2010-08-29T22:55:00.003-05:00

I met all my personal goals for the 5k I ran on Saturday and I have to admit, it felt great. There’s another one in October and I am going to sign up for it just because I know the next few weeks are going to be filled with eating lots of fast food and sitting on my ass. But after that one, I think I either need to move up to a 10k or find a triathlon I can enter.

Anyway, now that the race is over, I am pretty much ready for vacation! In what I am sure will be a humiliating decision I will regret forever, I agreed to go out with a guy I do not know while I’m home. I don’t want to call my ex-boyfriend and I thought hanging out with someone else seemed like a good way to keep my mind off him. I’ve talked with this blind date guy and I was honest with him about the fact that I live in Alaska and I’m leaving at the end of the month. He seems nice. But is there ever anything that isn’t awkward about set ups? I’m already sort of dreading it. I’m sure it will make a fantastic blog post at least. Sigh.

I’m as ready as I’m going to be for this trip. I have the weddings covered and I already got tickets for a Brewers game. Unfortunately, it’s a game against the Cubbies, so the odds are it is going to be a painful game, but at least there will be racing sausages. I don’t think I’ll get too bored and it looks like the weather is going to cool off a bit right when I get there so I won’t die. Basically, I’m totally ready. Check you all on the flip side.

Run, Forrest!

2010-08-20T18:27:00.003-05:00

I am a horrible runner. I don’t even think you would technically classify what I do as ‘running’ - it’s more of a jog. I have been very slowly getting the teensiest bit better this summer but I’m never going to win any races. That’s actually what I like about running though, I don’t have to beat anyone else and I can still win if I improve my time. I’m running a 5K next Saturday. I ran my very first 5K ever back in June and it wasn’t pretty. I had to walk for part of it and it took over 39 minutes. Ugh. I’m not sure what my goal is this time. Originally I wanted to get below 35 minutes, but I ran 3.1 miles at the gym last night in under 34. Yes that was a treadmill, but I usually go faster outside as long as it’s not too steep and this course is super flat. Considering I only signed up for this as something to keep my mind off my vacation, I think I am going to not set a goal and just run for the ‘fun’ of it. Also, don't tell George Lucas, because he is a copyright Nazi, but the Star Wars bachelorette party invites are pretty much done. BOOYA!

Epic Sun Days!

2010-08-15T17:18:00.005-05:00

Juneau is nestled between mountains right along the ocean. I have never lived anywhere more beautiful and when it is sunny out, I think it's almost a sin to stay inside. This weekend was epic. Not a cloud in the sky and temperatures reaching close to 80. While most of the town was out on the water for the Salmon Derby, I decided to fit in a few last hikes of this summer. It's not often we get this much sun this late in the season and I wasn't about to waste it!

Devils Club is a bitch to hike through. It's covered in brittle spines that leave crazy welts if you don't watch where you are going. It makes good syrup though...

Starting up Mt. Juneau, a trail that eventually kicked our ass. I have never been so overwhelmed by bugs in my life...
Looking out at Douglas Island and Spuhn Island from John Muir cabin. I can't believe how lucky I am to live here sometimes.

Less than 36 hours to go...

2010-08-10T23:08:00.002-05:00

As a going away present, they went 24 hours without one accident. Hallelujah. I can't wait to get my life back.

Pugatory

2010-08-02T17:37:00.002-05:00

Accident count to date: I lost count on day 4. There was one day with only a single accident, but they are averaging around three each day. I actually hope for poop because it's a lot easier to clean up. It is sick and sad and wrong that I actually hope there is shit on the floor when I go home. Sigh. I had to trim one of the pug's nails (or are they claws?) because they were so long they were starting to curl under and make it hard for him to walk. I don’t get how people who spent thousands of dollars on doggie chemo can ignore the simple stuff like that. Now that I am getting to know the dogs better, it is getting a bit easier. They are sweet dogs, I just want to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.

The plus side of this dog sit is their DVD collection. We have the same taste in books and movies, which I am basing solely on the fact that they have a bunch of Guy Gavriel Kay books and all of Battlestar Galactica. If I have to be stuck inside hovering over a pair of decrepit pugs, at least I can have The West Wing on in the background.

Only You Could Be So Bold

2010-07-30T15:11:00.005-05:00

I know it is stating the obvious, but I am all kinds of awesome. I am especially awesome these days to anyone who likes Star Wars. My sister is not the kind of girl to dress up and go bar hopping wearing a fake tiara for a bachelorette party. In fact, I am quite positive that she does not own a single dress. She is borrowing a wedding dress and the fact that she won’t be wearing pants is sort of freaking me out. Anyway, her friends wanted to throw her a Star Wars themed bachelorette party. Sure, why not?So, instead of a tiara, she gets to rock this bad boy all night long. Unless it’s warm out because the hat is hella hot.

I didn’t want her fiancé to feel left out, since we’re meeting up with the boys at some point, so I went ahead and made him a little something something too. Behold, R2D2! Apparently there is a competition to see who comes up with the better party, the boys or the girls. Rumor has it their plan involves a stripper dressed up like a clown and a meat packing plant. They are definitely going to win for the most terrifying experience ever. I hate horror movies and if I ever came across a stripper dressed up like a clown in real life, I am pretty sure I would shoot him. And I am pretty sure that is legal. I’ve never heard of a more clear case of self defense. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

Instead of giving my sister nightmares for the rest of her life, we’re just having a good old-fashioned scavenger hunt. I’m sure there will be some debate over who ‘won’. I just want my sister to have a good time. I don’t see how she could possibly have a bad time wearing Princess Leia buns.

F*&$ing Rant of the Day

2010-07-29T17:27:00.002-05:00

Admittedly, I am in a bad mood. I was woken up at 3am and then again at 5am by the ancient pugs I am dog sitting, and yet I still had a fresh pile of shit to deal with when my alarm finally went off. I’ve been going home every day at lunch time to let them out and there has been an accident every.single.time. My life for the next two weeks is going to consist of cleaning up dog pee and smelling like dog pee. I have pretty much accepted this fate. I mean, they are old. They can’t help it. I just have to keep reminding myself that I need new brakes. Plus, I mean, I am doing it already – it’s not like I can back out at this point.

BUT, everyone in Juneau is acting like an asshole today. I HATE driving downtown during the summer. Tourists are the dumbest pieces of shit sometimes. Note to my three readers: if you are ever on vacation try to keep in mind that people actually live there. No matter how beautiful the place may be, unless you are actually in Disneyland, it is not fucking Disney! Sidewalks are there for a reason, the street is not just a really wide wheelchair accessible walkway for you to mosey along at your own pace. Yes, some people may even drive there!

And there must be something in the water today because Juneau drivers were out in spades to compete for the title of biggest douche. I already know that most people born and raised in Juneau can’t drive worth shit. (My theory is that people who live in rural areas never learn how to drive.) Downtown Juneau is teeming with one way streets, no left turn intersections and dead ends. Today, everywhere I went some asshole was going the wrong way down a one way, illegally parked blocking the entire fucking street or blowing through a stop sign like the extra three seconds you gain from that might actually matter. It’s Juneau, for fucks sake. There are 40 miles of road total and virtually nothing out passed mile 20. What’s the damn rush?

Tonight all I have to look forward to is going back to a dirty-ass housesit and cleaning up dog poop, which means I am going to stay in this bad mood for the foreseeable future. (Seriously, I am messy, but there is a big difference between messy and dirty and if I’d rather shower at the gym than at your house, it’s dirty, not messy. Also, who leaves a house sitter dirty dishes, a full trash can and piles of junk all over every available surface? I had to wash a plate for dinner. There are even stacks of stuff on the stove top. I had to move them to turn on the burner. And it wasn’t a potholder or something, it was Ziploc baggies and a phone book. Really?) Maybe tonight I’ll get more than 5 hours of sleep at least…

I now own a dress!

2010-07-23T16:35:00.006-05:00

I just bought a dress for wedding #2 of the summer. Wedding #1 was a Juneau affair, so I wore rubber shoes and jeans. Yes, I'm serious. That's just how we roll up here. And it's awesome. I haven't owned a dress since, um... OH! I remember. I had to buy a dress for a wedding two summers ago, but then I spilled bleach on it and it got ruined. Every wedding since then I've just worn a skirt or whatever. I am not exactly what anyone would call a fashionista. Actually, why does anyone use that word? It's stupid.

Now that I have a snazzy new dress. I am ready to DANCE! Know who else likes to dance? My friend, Miz Bitch. It wouldn't surprise me if he knew the entire Napoleon Dynamite dance. In fact, I think Miz Bitch needs to accompany me some where we could show off our impressive moves. You know, since we are going to be in the same part of the country and I am awesome and only an idiot would pass up the chance to hang out with KaDonk. Think about it, Miz.

Smarty Pants

2010-07-22T18:17:00.002-05:00

I was having dinner with some friends the other night and I can’t remember how the topic came up but at some point we began talking about what we’d do if we had one wish. And I said that sometimes I think I would wish to be dumber. Sure, there are times – plenty of times – when I wish I had more money, or that I weighed less. There are times when I am less selfish and would use a wish on peace, or better universal health care. I’m sure that if I was ever actually granted a wish I’d use it on the environment, but that’s not the point of those kinds of conversations. ‘What-would-you-wish-for’ conversations are to indulge in a fantasy world and be completely selfish.

And I wish I were dumber.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy and as the conversation continued, it because clear that I was the only one that had ever thought that before. I know I am smart when I choose to be but I can be incredibly lazy. I’ve heard about my ‘potential’ my entire life. Sometimes I feel the weight of that wasted potential crashing down on me. I think about how if I had applied myself at all, I could have been a biologist or a CIA agent or an epidemiologist. I could have been making a difference. Instead, I spent yesterday watching Up at work. (Super adorable movie. I said I wouldn’t cry but was crying less than 12 minutes into it. Thank God I have my own office.)I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I am too damn smart to be wasting my life mailing out membership reminders and writing $5,000 grants. It just seems so daunting at this point to go back to school, especially since I have to pay for car repairs by dog sitting. I thought that by this point in my life I would have accomplished something. At least if I had an IQ of 75, I probably wouldn’t be aiming any higher.

I Heart Pugs

2010-07-20T19:18:00.004-05:00

When I first got to Juneau, I was an AmeriCorps volunteer, which means I was always broke. Like, way more broke than I am now. Although, food stamps almost made it worth it. Anyway, being an AmeriCorps member also meant that six of us lived in a 3-bedroom house to keep rent costs down. My ‘bedroom’ was a closet. A large one, but a closet nonetheless. My mother greatly enjoyed telling people all year that I was ‘in the closet’. She’s a funny lady. The year I was doing AmeriCorps, I was willing to housesit for anyone and everyone. The chance to have an entire apartment /house all to myself was not something I took for granted. I house sat for a family with chickens, I took care of dogs and cats and some parrots (or parakeets or something). There was pretty much nothing I would turn down.

But now I have an apartment that I really like in my favorite part of town. House sitting has lost all of its appeal. Unfortunately, I still never have much money, so when I was offered $300 to watch two old pugs for 13 days, I didn’t say no. Hell, this dog sit is going to cover the cost of my new rotors. Well, it’s going to cover part of the cost anyway. Man, I love being a grown up!

Long story short: I made tacos.

2010-07-16T13:07:00.005-05:00

Driving back up to Juneau with Pint as my copilot, I relied on several books on tape to keep me awake. I normally don’t like books on tape. The act of physically holding a book and sitting with a book and becoming completely absorbed in the story… you just don’t get the same overall experience with a book on tape. But I did discover that books on tape are a great way to pass the time when you are driving. I listened to Water for Elephants, which I really enjoyed (and might have even made me cry). Of course, now it is being made into a movie with the Twilight vampire and Reese Witherspoon, which means there is a very good chance the movie is going to blow so much that I will never think fondly of the book again. The other books I listened to were Charlie Wilson’s War (liked) and Julie & Julia. Julie & Julia, hmmm.

Having very little to do at work in the summer, lately I've been watching instant movies on Netflix and Julie & Julia was one of my Netflix recommendations. Having "read" the book, and thinking it was only so-so, I didn’t really plan on watching the movie, but it just kind of happened. I think it’s a rare instance of the movie actually being better than the book. I am not a chef and the book was bogged down with cooking specifics, which I am sure some people absolutely loved, but it made it hard for me to get in to.

Because of obvious time constraints, the movie glossed over most of the actual cooking. And Amy Adams was able to make even Enchanted almost watchable. I ended up actually enjoying the movie. So of course, I had to look and see if Julie Powell had written anything else since J&J. She has. It’s called Cleaving: A story of marriage, meat, and obsession. After signing her book deal, Mrs. Powell had a two-year affair and became a butcher. Whoa. That’s pretty badass. And she had the balls to write about her affair. It almost makes me want to read her new book. Almost. Until I picture the epic mental struggle she writes about in excruciating detail. If she can churn out an entire chapter on a single piece of beef, imagine what she can do with the guilt of cheating on her ‘saintly’ husband. No, thank you.

However, after watching the movie and then reading a bit about Julia Child online I did get the itch to cook something. (And can I just say that I really think Julia Child and I would have been great friends. She sounds like a hoot. Yes, I said hoot. Deal with it.) So last night I made blackened halibut tacos with a yummy cabbage cole slaw thing. And they were good. Damn good, if I do say so. And I had fun making them. I also made soup last week and banana bread. I’m beginning to see what all the fuss is about.

Berrylicious!

2010-07-15T16:31:00.003-05:00

I’m going to three weddings this summer. The first one was actually last weekend and luckily it was here in Juneau or I wouldn’t have been there. I figured out that for the other two weddings, since they are being rolled into one big trip, I am traveling 7,432 miles and I have spend $1,230 on airfare and $318 on hotels. This is why I never have any money. Anyway, the wedding this weekend was a lot of fun. And I found salmonberries. Gigantic salmonberries. Bonus!AND, I found out that Hulu finally has episodes of So You Think You Can Dance! Double bonus!! Unfortunately, my favorite dancer EVER is out due to injury. No! But I’m betting he’ll be back and now I can look forward to not missing any.shows.ever!

If you can't appreciate how amazing Alex Wong is, then I just don't know what is wrong with you.

Cubbies!

2010-07-11T22:09:00.004-05:00

Miz doesn't care if the Cubs lose...

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy.

Eat. Pray. Barf.

2010-07-07T17:38:00.002-05:00

I am embarrassed to admit that I went to see the new Twilight movie last night. The best part of the whole ordeal was the Harry Potter preview. But the last preview they showed was so unbelievably annoying I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the first few minutes of the movie. (Actually, I had a lot of time to think about how annoying it was, and think about what I was going to eat for dinner, and what I want to do this weekend since all my friends are out of town, and try to remember if I took my clothes out of the dryer before I left for work this morning… I think you get my point.)

Anyway, Julia Roberts is starring in the movie adaptation of the Elizabeth Gilbert book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. I have not read the book. I do not plan on reading the book. In fact, the whole concept of the book really pisses me off.

My understanding of the book is that a 32-year old woman is going through a divorce and before the divorce is finalized she begins dating some other guy (James Franco in the movie, which really blows since I like James Franco and don’t want to associate him with this shit). The new guy doesn’t work out either and she is horribly depressed so she spends a year traveling. Eating food in Italy, praying in India and wrapping it all up with a yoga retreat/meeting the man of her dreams in Bali. Whatever. Obviously it has been on the best seller lists long enough that this appeals to a lot of people.

But the preview shows Julia Roberts ranting about her life.

“Since I was 15, I’ve either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy. I have not given myself two weeks of a breather just to deal with myself.”

Are you fucking kidding me?! Sure, we all know women like that. (And men too.) Personally, those women drive me absolutely fucking crazy. On one hand I feel sorry them because they are so afraid of themselves that they can’t do anything alone, and on the other they make me so angry that I want to spit at them. Its 2010, ladies. Newsflash, you don’t need a man to define you! Men can be wonderful. Being in a relationship can be fantastic. Sex is great! But if you have never been alone, I guarantee that you have settled for someone at least once in your life because it was easier that being alone. And that is pathetic. And now I am supposed to watch 2 hours of Julia Roberts whining about how somewhere along the way she lost herself and then got a book advance so she could travel all over the world to ‘find herself’ and the only thing she ends up doing at the end is falling in love again?! What.the.fuck!? If she ended up starting a non-profit to help land mine victims or save elephants or basically if she learned anything during her year abroad, I could maybe excuse the reason she took the trip in the first place, but no. She ends up exactly where she started, a spoiled and privileged white woman who is married again and probably still doesn’t have a clue about what real suffering is.

I am AWESOME.

2010-07-05T10:16:00.000-05:00

Miz Bitch is sticking it to the man and moving half way around the world. And since he will be in a position to ~~share~~ make everyone insanely jealous by posting pictures of him riding kangaroos and giving koala’s water and shit, he is contemplating starting a blog that will inevitably kick my blogs ass. I have already resigned myself to this fact. HOWEVER, I have decided that Miz Bitch needs to recognize that his life will not be complete if he leaves before we get a chance to hang out. I am going to be bored out of my mind in September when I go home for my sister’s wedding. And MB will only be about 75 miles away. SO, I have dedicated an entire blog tag just to you, Bitch. My mission is to convince you that your real life friends are less important than me. As we all know, it’s always all about me. Sure, you’re mom will miss you. And your ex-GF will probably give you goodbye sex just for old times sake. But I can make black and white pictures have colored beer! And really, that’s better than risking a lifelong case of herpes any day. I’m going white water rafting in W.Virgina the weekend of September 11. And there are several football games we could get drunk at that month. Vinu lives in Chicago and the three of us could eat a deep dish pizza or watch the Cubs lose. The possibilities are endless. I really think it’s only fair that instead of giving me a ‘maybe’, I get moved to the ‘fuck, yeah!’ column.

USA! USA!

2010-07-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

I don’t know why, but I love the 4th of July. The older I get, the more I appreciate holidays that don’t revolve around gift giving. And I love fireworks. That’s one thing I miss about Milwaukee - that city sure knows how to put on a good fireworks display. In Juneau, the fireworks happen at 12:01 a.m. on the 4th because that’s the only time it’s dark enough. Then the parades and stuff don’t start until 11 a.m. so you can sleep in. This year, instead of celebrating I get to chauffer my aunt and uncle around all day. Of all the cruise ships (and trust me, there are a lot of cruise ships that come here in the summer) they had to be on the one that docks on the 4th. I don’t see them very often and I never really know what to talk to them about (their favorite topics include God, saving unborn babies, and talking about relatives I don’t know). I was thinking about being “busy” but since my dad is still in the hospital and it “would mean a lot to him”, I really don’t have a choice in the matter and I will be playing tour guide all day. Can’t wait. I hope all three of my readers enjoy the weekend though!

Sun Days

2010-06-27T18:29:00.002-05:00

I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of something to blog about this week. My life is pretty boring right now. I just got over a fucking cold. So, that’s been a lot of fun. Summer colds are the worst. Luckily, it was raining most of the time I was sick so I didn’t feel like I was missing anything.

So, Juneau is a rain forest and they actually have Sun days here. Not Sunday, like the day of the week. Employers will actually let people go home early if it’s sunny out and there hasn’t been sun for a long time. If you haven’t seen the sun in over a month and then all of a sudden it’s a gorgeous day out, there is no way anyone is going to get any work done. Sun days are the best. The whole town practically skips around all day smiling and giggling. We all shit rainbows and butterflies when the sun comes out around here. I’ve never lived anywhere so affected by the weather. We hunker down for the bad weather and don’t let it stop us, but everyone lives for the sunny days.

Yeah, so, that’s about all I got for this week.

The Long Ladder Story

2010-06-16T13:56:00.003-05:00

Milwaukee is a pretty segregated place. I am not certain, but I think that is one reason why they passed an ordinance a few decades ago that all city employees have to live within city limits. Teachers, police, postal workers all have to live in the city. I’m sure the thinking was that city jobs would provide decent pay and steady employment and people in those jobs were exactly the kind of people the city didn’t want fleeing to the suburbs. Breweries and manufacturing jobs were being moved to cheaper places and I’m sure white flight was a concern when they passed that law too.

My parents are both public school teachers and have lived in a neighborhood that has steadily lost property value for the last 15 years. Corner liquor stores and fast food chains have sprung up, crime has risen, and foreclosures are incredibly high, especially in the last few years. I don’t have any good ideas about preventing people from moving out of the city. I have no idea how a city would go about slowing gentrification either. I do know that forcing employees to stay within the city limits probably does more harm than good though. My parents watched a lot of their colleagues take jobs with suburban school districts over the years just so they could move out of the city. Not only did Milwaukee lose residents, but they lost good teachers because of their stupid policy.

Anyway, my dad retired in 2008 but my mom is planning on working until next year. After years of looking, they finally bought their dream retirement home in the suburbs last year but kept their house in the city as their permanent residence until my mom is officially retired. They have been having a lot of fun fixing up the retirement home on the weekends so that it will be perfect by the time they can officially move in.

I’m turning this into a really long story and it really has nothing to do with my point. Last weekend, my dad was painting around a skylight in the new place and fell off the ladder. He was alone and broke his pelvis and shoulder. They initially thought there was a neck or spinal injury too, but I guess he just had some really bad bruises. He couldn’t get up and had to lay there for hours before my younger sister finally found him. He just turned 61 in April. He isn’t old enough to fall off a ladder. He is going to be fine, but I feel helpless being in Alaska while he has to go through a really long and painful rehabilitation. I don’t want to think about my parents getting old. It’s not supposed to happen for at least twenty more years.

Celebration 2010

2010-06-08T15:01:00.006-05:00

Sometimes I try to remember what I thought about Alaska before I moved here. I am pretty sure I thought that Alaskan Natives were all just called Eskimos. I’m pretty sure I had never heard of Eyak or Tlingit. I can’t remember if I thought there were polar bears and igloos everywhere or if I was under the impression that people still used dog mushing to get around. But seven years later, I am now shocked by the ignorance of people ‘down south’. (Down south referring to anywhere else in the US, from Wisconsin to Texas.) When tourists get off the cruise ships and ask what currency is accepted and wonder if there are going to be any penguins around, I don’t even know how to respond.

I love learning more about this place every year. One of the things I got really excited about my first year up here was Celebration. Every two years there is a Tlingit, Haida and Tsimshian festival held in Juneau called Celebration. I got to work at Celebration this year and it was a really amazing experience. It is such an important event for Southeast Alaskan traditions. It reminds me of how spoiled I am to be able to take my culture for granted. I have never once thought about Dutch customs dying off. But there are less than a dozen fluent Haida speakers left today and they are all over 70! Can you imagine watching the last English speaker grow old and die? It breaks my heart to think about not only the impact Europeans had on Native Americans when they first landed here, but the impacts throughout westward expansion and impacts from forced boarding schools even in the 1950s. It makes Celebration so much more meaningful when you realize just how important it is to celebrate and showcase Southeast Alaska Native traditions and customs.

Bluegrass in the backyard

2010-05-29T22:36:00.002-05:00

I live in a super cute fourplex that was originally built to serve as officers quarters for the Coast Guard. I've loved the building since I first moved to Alaska and I always wanted to live here. So when an apartment opened up I jumped on it and I can't imagine living anywhere else as long as I am up here. Anyway, I live under my landlord, who also happens to play in arguably the best bluegrass band in Juneau. Conveniently, I happen to like live bluegrass music, so it is always a treat when I get an impromptu concert in my backyard.

300th Post!

2010-05-21T23:31:00.008-05:00

I wanted to go big for my 300th blog post. But there really hasn't been too much going on around here lately. Just another day in Southeast Alaska...

So, what'd you do on Friday night? Oh yeah? Cool. Sounds like fun. What did I do? Oh, you know. Not too much. Just hung out with some orcas for over an hour.

Orcas in front of the glacier.

Adult orcas. Baby orcas. Oh yeah, and eagles and mountains and stuff. You know, pretty much the usual Friday night.

Second Place = First Loser

2010-05-18T15:32:00.004-05:00

Instead of bitching about how I just got another incredibly nice rejection letter telling me that I was the second choice, I'll just post some more Alaska pictures. I would like to point out first though that this is the second job I have been excited about only to find out I was almost hired. This letter said: "During the interview you were articulate, had a good presence, and really engaged in the discussion well. I cannot think of anything you could improve upon." And while that should make me feel good, it doesn't give me a paycheck. And I don't want to think about the fact that I might be subconsciously posting so many pictures lately because this could very well be my last summer in Juneau if I don't find something soon. So, let's not talk about that and instead just go ahead and look at these damn pictures.Looking at Mt. Juneau from Douglas, Alaska.

I love skunk cabbage. I think it's so beautiful. And I love that some people call it ogre's lantern.

Muskeg is also something that doesn't sound like it's going to be pretty but then you hike into it and it turns out to be breathtaking.

One of the great things about living in a rain forest is that there is water everywhere. (Duh.) Creeks, ocean, rivers, lakes - they are all impressive. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. For now anyway.

Run for the border!

2010-05-14T15:54:00.002-05:00

First, Jorge has to go and actually post pictures of his yummy Taco Bell, then my co-worker starts talking about how she is going to a conference all next week and has already mapquested how to get to Taco Bell from the hotel. Why is everyone trying to torture me? Next they are going to start talking about Chipotle and I am going to have to kick someones ass.

Take a hike

2010-05-10T12:53:00.006-05:00

We had another gorgeous sunny weekend in Southeast Alaska, and the sunny days are not to be wasted! I can't figure out why I didn't hike much last summer, but I am determined not to make the same mistake again this year.

This may look like snow, but it's actually looking down on to Mendenhall Glacier. West Glacier trail might be my new favorite hike in Juneau.

The glacier opening up onto Mendenhall Lake. We ate lunch at this lookout with mountain goats right near us and eagles up above.

I felt guilty about not bringing Pint along, so I had to take her on her annual tromp through the skunk cabbage. But it was cut short by....

This guy. I am constantly worried about Pint getting carried off by eagles. And he was just a little too close for comfort.

Good News, Bad News

2010-05-07T16:14:00.002-05:00

The era of the Perfect Roommate has finally come to an end for me. For the last year, I’ve had a roommate that is literally never home. She slept in the apartment a grand total of six times in the last year. Her boyfriend lives across the street and it was the perfect arrangement for me. Unfortunately, she finally wised up and they are moving in together. I am happy for her. Really. But I had to make a decision - move to a one bedroom apartment, which is difficult to do in Juneau and crazy expensive, or suck it up and get a ‘real’ roommate. I opted to not deal with moving all my furniture or lose my awesome downtown location. The good news is that it was incredibly easy to find a new roommate. She moves in July 1. And she seems really nice. But it sucks being a 30-something and not being able to afford your own place. Sure, I could live on a boat and be a harbor rat like some people I know, but Pint would hate that. And I would hate that. I seriously considered that last year but I’m glad I didn’t go that route. I like hot showers and I can put up with the occasional mouse if it means I don’t have to smell like diesel fuel and dead fish. But I’m not going to lie, it did make me think about the fact that not only could I live alone on my salary in Wisconsin, I could actually afford a house…

Hello Wisconsin!

2010-04-30T15:44:00.003-05:00

I have no idea why - its spring time in Juneau and the cottonwoods are starting to bloom (which is the best smell in the world by the way) and it’s finally light out all the time and the snow is finally gone - but I have been thinking about Wisconsin lately. A lot. It’s like I have a two year maximum before I get bored and want to make some big dramatic move. I don’t really want to move. The thought of packing makes me break out in hives. But my sister is getting married, which means she could conceivably have kids in the next few years and let’s face it, I’m probably going to end up living with 20 cats cranking out at least one knit afghan every week while I horde old newspapers and fall asleep every night in a drunken stupor.

The point is that my whole family is in Wisconsin and I think I’m just kind of homesick. Which never happens. I keep thinking about how I could actually go to Packer games or Summerfest if I lived in Wisconsin again. It wouldn’t take an entire day of traveling to get most places. I wouldn’t have to plan out every single hour of my vacation time to accommodate all the stupid weddings I’ve been getting invited to lately. And it wouldn’t take an $800 plane ticket to get to those weddings either. I could actually make it to a Miz Bitch birthday party. Sure I would miss Juneau. A lot. But I don’t really have anything keeping me here. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about…

Tourist Season

2010-04-26T17:19:00.004-05:00

There's only one week left until the cruise ships start to overtake Juneau. Spring is my favorite time of year here. I didn't do much hiking last summer and I definitely need to do something about that in the next few months. This weekend was the perfect weekend to get out.

My 15-year old chihuahua made it up 75% of this trail, which is admittedly the easiest mountain to climb in Juneau, but you still have to give her some credit. Her legs are like, 10 inches long!

The next sunny weekend we get, I am hiking up to the ice caves around Mendenhall Glacier, so stay tuned for those pictures!

Maui Revisited

2010-04-18T12:14:00.005-05:00

Not as cool as my awesome turtle picture, but you know you are still jealous.

Starfish? Never heard of it! Sea stars are not fish.

Just chillin' with flipper. I actually touched this dolphin. True story.

Red slate pencil coral. You can dry it out and actually use it like chalk. You know, if you are a sick fuck and want to kill a coral reef for some stupid chalk.

Spring Has Sprung

2010-04-18T12:09:00.002-05:00

Work is calming down, spring has finally reached Alaska and I don't really have anything to complain about right now. Huh. I'm not sure what to do with myself now...

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride...

2010-04-12T18:45:00.002-05:00

My older sister just got engaged and I get to be her maid of honor, which is, of course, amazeballs! The only problem is I just broke up with the one person that could have been my wedding date. I am sick of going to weddings without a date. I am pretty sure I could still call the guy to start things up again, because let’s be honest – my milkshake brings all the boys to my yard but that is just ridiculous. No, I am just going to have to go slut it up once again. At least my sister has some hottie friends. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to do my hair...

I wish I was still in Hawaii

2010-04-06T01:21:00.001-05:00

For the last few weeks I’ve been trying to force myself to like a guy I’ve been going out with. But I have never been able to date a guy if I am not totally into him. I’m not going to date a guy just to have somebody. Maybe I would have when I was younger, but I’m no longer 20 and I am not going to pretend and I am not willing to have a one night stand anymore just to get some. Anyway, going out with this guy has made me realize that it is probably only going to get harder to get into a serious relationship the older I get. I don’t want to give up any of the things I enjoy about being independent. And honestly, being alone doesn’t scare me most of the time. There are times when I definitely get lonely but not lonely enough to deal with a crappy relationship. Or a forced one for that matter. So I had to let another one go and now there is another person out there who thinks I am either a tease or a bitch. Sigh.

Back!

2010-03-27T00:33:00.006-05:00

I've been MIA. But for a good reason.

I learned some things while I was gone. For example, breaching whales are next to impossible to catch in a photo with a crappy point and shoot.

I also discovered that I should have moved to Hawaii. Alaska is amazeballs and all, but I love love love the water. I need to be somewhere warmer.

And finally, I realized that turtles are hella cool.

My Poor Crocuses

2010-03-16T00:29:00.001-05:00

We haven't had snow at sea level all winter. Why now?

From the Archives

2010-03-08T18:01:00.001-05:00

1,000 frames per/second

2010-03-03T01:16:00.001-05:00

Sure it's a rip off, but come on - it's hella awesome.

One month to go!

2010-03-01T16:19:00.001-05:00

The one time of the year I absolutely love all things folk!

Whew

2010-02-28T06:57:00.001-05:00

Thank God there wasn't a tsunami because I didn't even hear about the earthquake until it would have been way too late. But with a -3 tide, I have to admit, I probably wouldn't have worried too much anyway...

My next 2 dogs will be named Apollo & Starbuck

2010-02-23T01:26:00.002-05:00

Battlestar Galactica is better than The Office. It's better than Buffy and right now it trumps the Olympics. Battlestar Galactica is even better than Firefly. The first nine episodes of season 3 are the best seven hours of television ever made. That's right, I said ever.

Same old Olympics

2010-02-17T22:10:00.003-05:00

Why do they always have to pimp out one athlete? I'm so sick of Lindsey Vonn's face appearing in every.single.interview and endorsing more products that Apolo. I mean, aren't there any other athletes in Vancouver? How about Allison Baver? She's way cuter than Vonn, and she looks a lot more down to Earth too. I admit it, I didn't want to Vonn to win. I didn't want her hurt or anything, I just wanted to hear about someone else for a change. Also, her eyebrows scare me.

Vince Vaughn and Auto Tune

2010-02-13T00:56:00.001-05:00

I'm sure MJ would have loved it...

B-day + Beer + Piggyback rides =

2010-02-07T14:21:00.003-05:00

Face road rash. Way to act like a 31-year old adult, KaDonk. Way.to.go.

Dabbling in Politics

2010-02-02T18:48:00.004-05:00

The political season in Alaska has started, which means my job gets quite a bit busier. But a lot of my job is the hurry up and wait kind. And even at the state level, watching every single meeting/conference/briefing/hearing of the political process gets really boring. I mean, how many frickin’ finance meetings does one budget really need? Apparently, a lot.As I was sitting there today, I decided to set a goal for myself. My new goal is to wink at every single state senator and representative at least once. I think this plan is brilliant because it keeps me involved with what is going on. And anyone who knows me knows that I am most definitely not a winker, so I get kind of nervous about it and am hyper alert waiting for the exact right moment and it make my move.

Today I picked a Republican Senator. He looked both bemused and flustered and refused to make eye contact the rest of the meeting. It was awesome. Most of these meetings are in incredibly small rooms, so there aren’t too many places to look, and I am usually behind the only camera in the room, which as everyone knows, politicians are drawn too. I am totally looking forward to getting to everyone now. I might even take a page from 5000 and create a spreadsheet for this!

*Note: If I am being somewhat vague about my job, it’s on purpose. Certain key words pop up in a lot of Google Alerts around these parts, a lesson I learned a little too well last year.

Trap League Started Again...

2010-01-29T14:26:00.003-05:00

And I added a little somethin' somethin' to this wonderful sign that is posted front and center at the gun club:

Geaux Bacon!

2010-01-25T14:06:00.004-05:00

Ah, Favre. Some of those hits looked a bit painful. While you were getting your ass kicked, I was enjoying bacon. What better way to celebrate a Saints win than with bacon?

Ok, fine. I admit it. I love J.T.

2010-01-23T17:30:00.001-05:00

My friend showed me this clip and the first thing I said was, "Wow, they are so in sync with their harmonies." Didn't even realize the irony for a second. Any artist that can overcome a boyband background must have talent.

I'm with Coco

2010-01-21T13:46:00.003-05:00

I don't have cable, which in Juneau means that unfortuantely the only channel other than PBS that I get is NBC. If you are like me, you have never watched the Jay Leno show. And there is probably a reason for that. The target audience has got to be 60+ white people. Last night I decided to give it a chance since I didn't have anything else to do and none of my Netflix movies showed up in the mail.

Last night, Jay had a guest appearance from... Arsenio Hall. No, he wasn't showing a clip from 1996 - he actually thought Aresenio would be funny. This is the result:

In contrast, Conan had a guest appearance too. I'll let you judge which one you thought was better.

Ed Helms, I will have your babies. Call me.

One Year

2010-01-20T06:04:00.005-05:00

Holy crap - a year ago today I started knitting! In honor of this monumental event, I am going to go knit a cowl.

You call it 'Snowmageddon', I call it 'Wednesday'

2010-01-13T20:37:00.002-05:00

Rain on top of 2 feet of snow. Wonderful. Pretty though.

F*ck

2010-01-01T22:35:00.002-05:00

* Please note: Sears does not ship or deliver to P.O. Boxes, Alaska, Canada, Guam, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, or U.S. Virgin Islands. *

*Target Free shipping offer valid for standard shipping only to orders shipping within the 48 contiguous United States.*

Seriously? You do realize the post office does not charge extra to ship something to Alaska, right? And you do realize that both Hawaii and Alaska is part of the United States, right? All of you bitches have black, black hearts.

OMG - Awesome!!

2009-12-31T01:29:00.002-05:00

I was just talking about Nathan Fillion and today I stumbled across the gem. Best.Clip.EVER!!!